Day 3 of Water Fast by Sacristia Blog entry

Blog: My Health Journey
by Sacristia

Day 3 of Water Fast

My daily Journey to a healthier life style

Date: 3/14/2011 4:02:40 PM ( 14 y ) ... viewed 1713 times

March 11, 2011

Since I woke up several times in the night (once at midnight and once at 6:00 a.m.) I had a hard time getting up out of bed. I laid in bed until 10 minutes after 8:00 p.m. which is cutting it close to having enough time to really get ready like I usually do: making bed, washing face, brushing teeth, weighed myself, doing hair, getting dressed, putting jewelry on gathering my books together, feeding my cats their morning treat, and warming up my car. I was able to do it within a reasonable amount of time, as it takes a 15 minute drive to work. And I have to be there at 9:00 a.m. I was on time and I got there with five minutes to spare.

I even had a bit of time to focus on God without rushing too much.

Today's Lenten Focus for March 11, 2011

Live in the center of our heart

Read: Matthew 17:8

Today I focus on praying for the hearts of our family to be filled with God's ways and that people in our community will know Jesus and not just some ideas about Him.

During my alone time with God, I thought about how God has influenced my life and how without Him in it would have affected it. Jesus has always been a part of my life and to think about Him not being in it, kind of scared me. I have known Jesus since I was about 5 years old when my Gram introduced me to him. You can say that He has been my “invisible” friend all these years. In the most happy times in my Life I have shared my life with Him as well as the sad and worrisome times as well. Just thinking about it, has made me realize how blessed I am to have had Him there and watching over me all those years. I also realized how much I have ignored Him, in the last 2 years or so due to my relationship with a guy. I can look back and say that the only time I really talked to Him was when I was having issues with Phil. I also realized that I couldn't find in my memory the last time I spend some quality alone time with the Lord, like going to church or just have a quiet Bible study alone at the park with Him. I haven't done that in along time. It is true that I have fasted, but I didn't make the focus of my fast about God, as much as I would have liked it to be. In all honesty, I have become complacent with God in my life, due to the actions and the people that were influencing my life.

Phil affected my life. And I shouldn't have allowed that to happen. I remember, he told me once, that he had no idea that I was so “into” God, as if it was some illegal thing like doing drugs. It made me feel like I had some horrible trait or characteristic that was unpleasant. I told him then, I never hid my love for God in what I did or what I said. I think that picture of Jesus on my Entrance way wall to my home was a bit much for him, as well as some particulars in my house. I have a laminated board, that has a shield with a lion on it with some scripture regarding the armor of God. I don't think I am over the top with my faith and love for God. I just don't hide it from others.

I need to find that spark that I once had for the Lord. The burning fire that was the center of my happiness which was only for God. I really hope to find that during this fasting period during this Lenten Season.

Early in the morning, while at work, I realized I had a headache. It wasn't piercing, but it was a dull ache to the back of my head. I think it was probably due to some crink in my neck, from sleeping. I think my feather pillow has seen its last days, as it doesn't lump up like it used to. I used to support my head better then it did, and not it just balls up to one corner of pillow case. As well it doesn't help that Mekong loves to sleep around the back of my neck, when I am on my stomach. I should know better sleeping on my stomach after I listened to the local chiropractor on our local radio station. He said tell that sleeping on our stomach is back for us, as it stretches the neck muscles one way or the other since we have to turn our head. And that isn't really good for us and can ultimately as we getting older give us problems. I have been sleeping with a neck ravel pillow once in a while when I remember, as it really supports my neck more then then my regular pillow. I guess I like it as it reminds me of the neck “pillows” that the Ancient Egyptians used to use when they sleep.

I read this crazy article this morning online. Gosh, get this! A man, J. Wilson, in Corning, Iowa will be drinking BEER during the Lenten Season. He will be drinking water and 4 pints of his own beer. He is getting guidance from a local pastor and a doctor. His goal is not to get drunk during this time. He will be blogging this experience and I think I am going to follow it as I am curious on how it will turn out. I am sure drinking beer/alcohol will not be good for the body, but I guess to each his own.

Here is a where Mr. Wilson's blog is: http://diaryofaparttimemonk.wordpress.com/

It will be really interest to read and watch how this choices affect him.

When lunch time came, the attorney was still in the office and said if I didn't pack my lunch, I could go out and get something to eat. And he would wait until I got back. I didn't let on about my fasting, so I just left, planning to refreeze what ever I got (if that was possible). I got to Baires and found out that the special was Corned Beef and Cabbage (which is my favorite) and ordered it. The waitress working there has known me and Phil for a while (as she has hung out with her boyfriend at the bar Phil plays pool. Somewhere I have never been to), so she went on about who he was hanging out with now. I think I was a bit abrupt and said I didn't want to know, as it would upset me. Before she shut her mouth, she told me about some girl. She must have seen the look on my face, because she told me she was weird and she had told her that he had a girlfriend (me). Which is not true anymore. It was very hard not to start crying, because this was a shock to me, if any of it was true. K. would not have any reason to lie to me, but still I didn't want to know what he was doing or who he was hanging out with. It hurt regardless as he never mentioned it to me when he spent time with me last week. So when I got my food, Marcella (the owner) was lovely enough to me, and gave me a hug. That was very hard, as I wasn't expecting someone to touch me, and it made it harder for me not to cry. Marcella knew that I still cared about Phil and it was hard for me. She just pulled me aside and told me not to allow this to upset me that I would find someone much better and a person that loves me as much as I love him. It still was very hard and I told her “Thank you” and left. I walked back to the office with my food that I had no desire eating, even if I had the urge to. My mind was racing over things, that it was hard to clear my mind. I just kept telling myself that I wasn't going to cry over and over again. That it didn't matter what he did or who he hung out with. I just kept telling myself that I didn't care. Yet, I couldn't deny the fact that it still hurt. By the time I got back to the office, I wiped everything away so that attorney wouldn't know that I was upset. I just went to the library with my food, my water and my book. I just pushed the food aside and opened my book to drown what ever flirting thoughts I had aside regarding what I just heard. Near the end of my lunch, the attorney came in and asked me if I was about done with my lunch, as he needed the library. I told him “Yes” and took my unopened lunch and stuff out of the library, put my uneaten lunch in the fridge and went back to my desk. Food is the farthest from my mind, as I find my heart to be very heavy. I guess I can smile knowing that I have God by my side regarding this.

Sigh, it truly makes the day harder for me to deal with.

Later on, I noticed a whiff of a awful smell coming from me. I don't know if it was my breath, but I think it was, as I was starting to get that horrible taste in my mouth again, like I have in the past. I really hate that smell. YUCK!

I spent some time praying for the people that I care about as well as all the people in Japan that were affected by the Earthquake and Tsunami. Close to the end of the work day, I got really emotionally, and one song keep playing in my head. I haven't heard it in a while, because it brings back a lot of memories, but good and bad. It was “In the Beginning” by Jason Upton. I first heard the song from my friend, K., who I got very close to. We ended up dating a bit, which was lovely. We worshiped together at his church, which was lovely. He had Jason Upton's CD which he gave me. It is a lovely piece of music. So when K. stopped talking to me, and walked away from God, it was hard for me to listen to the lovely music. It is still almost haunting for me to listen to, as I found a friendship with the music as well as lost one the same one, when K. made a choice. The one song has always affected me. Maybe it is because of the way it is song and the words. I finally downloaded on to my MP3 player and listened to it. I ended up crying for a good half and hour after listening to it. I think it is because a lot of time, I feel the tug if I am second best, and such.

There are the lyrics:

In the Beginning by Jason Upton

In the beginning God saw everything when love went wandering into the night.

Was I first or last?
Was I second best?
These questions quickly pass into the light.

At the waters edge I see As your spirit speaks to me: Call to me and I will answer you, I’ll give you peace, a peace you have not known on your own.

When my vision died you opened my eyes to something that I had never seen. I have touched your hands and you have called me friend, but doubting never ends until I believe.

At the waters edge I see As your spirit speaks to me: Call to me and I will answer you, I’ll give you peace, a peace you have not known on your own.

After work, I went over to Christy's for a little while, because I wasn't feel really up to socializing much. It probably was because my heart hurt too much. When I was over there, I realized how much sugar was consumed in that house and how Christy doesn't see how it will affect her child. While I was over there,I watched her son eat at least 5 mini cupcakes and 4 granola-like bars. Finally after the 4th granola bar, I asked her if she was making dinner or did Jesse already have dinner, as it was only like 5:30 p.m. She said that today, every body was just eating whatever tonight. I then told her that since I got in her house, all I have seen her son eat is sugar. I told her no wonder, she can't get him to eat anything when it is time to eat. It didn't stop, so I just went home, as it just irritated me. The boy is only 7 years old and he is getting chunky, from all the sugar and video game playing. It is just sad. It is hard to watch the affects of it her and her son's life.

EXERICISE: walked 1.60 Miles,

WATER INTAKE: 32 ounces of water

WEIGHT: 128 pounds