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Just when I thought I was in remission!
Lil Debbie Devil is trying to take hold of me!!!!!
Date: 3/23/2008 6:50:46 AM ( 16 y ) ... viewed 2984 times OK everyone.. so I am not perfect!!!! Hard to believe I know!!!! But it is true… you are not alone. So I am at home (visiting my family that lives 600 miles away in a town called FAT!!!) I told you in my previous post that I was going away and I asked you all to pray for me…but apparently you forgot! I have been here almost 5 days now and all I can say is I am ashamed at my lack of will power.
I have come to a place of stretch marks, rolls, elastic jeans and heart disease… I exaggerate I know but in 5 days.. I have managed to eat double stuffed Oreos, Debbie Cakes (that irresistible little bitch!), a few beef tips (and I don’t eat beef.. WTF!!!), pork bacon (I don’t eat that either!!!!), sugar cookies, cows milk (you can’t have Oreos without milk… BASTARDS!!!), fried chicken with French fries and a lil shrimp scampi. I didn’t gorge myself but the fact remains!!! I consider this a confession as I have to repent with a flush and plenty of water for my sins.
This has taught me that Rehab is much harder than I thought.. Amy Wineshouse was right!!!! I keep telling my mother that I have cleansed my body. She doesn’t care… she is NOT fat and has a stash (and I am NOT lying) of the following beside her bed in a nice pink strong Victoria Secrets shopping bag (Victoria would say that anyone who eats that sh!# can’t fit into my clothes!!! )..…. A carton of milk duds, pistachios, plain potato chips, cheese curls, Hershey with almonds, Fritos, and trail mix!!!!! WTF do you think I thought when I saw this! I started scratching and twitching and my skin broke out in hives… my hand grabbed a few milk duds before I could stop myself.. I tried to fight (in my mind) but I lost the battle… one snack at a time. I told my mom I am a recovering Lil Debbie whore but she simply replied… “no one is making you eat it!! Have some self control!!!!” I told her ass (surely I couldn’t curse at her!!!) that if I had self control I wouldn’t be fat!!!! I’m in rehab!!! She doesn’t understand my pain.
I love my family and I missed them so much.. but I gotta get out of her before I gain some weight and all the yeast grows back in my colon!!! It is cold in Pennsylvania so you know no one is exercising!!!! Including me!
I swear.. I am going to run back to my treadmill when I get home! I swear!!! I must re-admit myself… I must re-commit myself… I must get this monkey off my back! Chasing this cream-filled dragon is doing nothing for me!!!!
I really must fast when I get home now… I want to loose more weight and hopefully I won’t be back to snorting cakes, cookies and pies. I am going to ask my friends to throw me an intervention filled with raw foods and organic juices.
Pray for me!!!! I pray for you! This time… REALLLLLLY pray. I have to remember my stance on ACCOUNTABILITY!!!!!!!!!
I know God is telling my something right now… and I hope I can hear it once my sugar high wears off!
See you soon! I am going to pray now!
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