I can understand your feelings because I have been left 3 times for greener pastures. My first love left me for another guy she had only known a few weeks. I waited and morned for a few years. After I finally moved on and found another girl, She called and expressed her regrets, That would have been about 5 yrs later, By that time it was to late. The next girl, Whom I was with at the time the first girl called, I married a few years latter. After several years and one child, She started having affairs with a guy she works with. (affairs were quite common at the place she worked)......(Division of Family Services)......OOPPPs, I gave it away.! She said she was confused, I begged, I cried, I prayed, She wanted me to leave for awhile, So....., I left, Sleeping in some of my empty rental houses. She wanted me back, But I must take my son home after work, Tell him daddy is going to a meeting, Then I had to park in back and go upstairs without him seeing me, And live there all the time keeping it a secret. After about 3 months I finally relized how big of a retard I was, I politley packed just a few things and took a hike. She sued me for a divorce and made me a little poor let's just say...lol. Then after I stayed single for 4 yrs, I find myself at 45 yrs old. I am working on a house I own to rent out, This young couple comes in to see about renting it for the girls mother. This girl is 23, And is very interested in helping me finish it so her mother can move in. Next thing I know, She seems to be flirting with me, I can't belive it, I am 22 yrs older than her, Long story short, She was beautifull and she wanted me. I told her that she had a guy..(they were living together,But....., He was the father of her 4 month old lil girl). She assured me that they were on the ousts, And it was ok., She wanted to be loved so badly, She had lots of money problems,She had left the last 5 guys she had been with, 2 of them being the fathers of her 2 beautifull children. Lots of baggage from her childhood, She needed someone so badly, She adored me, I finally said ok, Ok........, You got me, I love you....(cry).., I was afraid to open my heart again, But......, I did. She wanted to move in, I declined time after time, Because I am old enough to know it takes great commitment to live together. I figured at her age she was not expierienced enough to know that yet. After being together almost 4 yrs, She left me about 7 weeks ago. The end was started because of my suggestion that we try as a family to grow closer to god. Next thing I know, She is going to a church of her choosing, Not a joint decision, And she spends most of her time on Rapture ready dot com. She comes in the house, Tells me that she thinks we are uneqally yoked.She used the bible and scripture to split us up, I intended for it to grow us closer,She Dumps me like a throw away coke cup, not only takes away the love of my life, But....., My georgous lil almost 4 yr old lil girl whom I have raised since 4 months old, And took away my lil boy who is 5. As I am typing this, My heart and spirit are crushed, All that is keeping me going is PRAYERS....!! Right now, It is an hour at a time. I loved them sooo much. Anyway......., My very long point is......(sorry this is so long, But it felt kinda good to release..(smile)
I totally get what you said, WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES, I have made them, All that reply to your message with "great wisdom", MAKE THEM. It's okay to look back and realize that you have made some mistakes. I am hoping that the girls I loved soooo much
will someday, Maybe......? Will look back at me, And find some love in thier hearts for me, Maybe realize that I WAS there for them, I WAS Honest with them, And......, That I did LOVE THEM....!!!!!! What you are going learning now is called wisdom, It is kind of like weight lifting, With resistance comes strength. After this resistance you will be stronger.And who knows, I am a beliver in miracles, Maybe, Just maybe, After you practice the love and patience he practiced for back then, And....., If your soul "hurts" like his did back then................., Maybe he will become single someday. I do not suggest Praying for, Or trying to break up a marriage. I just wanted you to know I DO UNDERSTAND YOUR FEELINGS..!! Thank you for your message, It helped me to express myself.! I will pray for you, If you pray for the girl I lost..........(Kristina)....May you find the one you love, Bob.!