My heart really goes out to you aswell. I know that feeling of being exhausted by the circumstances of life. Especially since I dealt with that when I was abroad. Those dreams you're having about your job are a real indicator that something is wrong. I used to have them all the time as a waitress lol. From what I gathered, you need this job for the time being. The best thing to do right now is to remember that you are not alone. Luckily, after the fast your body will have the ammo to really kick some ass in the world. Then you can try getting another job or atleast finding something to do that keeps you happy. Keep us updated on how you're doing.