Re: Frustrated wife EDITED

First things first. She has to stop ACCEPTING responsibility. Even IF SHE WAS at fault in any way, she would be being very hard on herself (simply by using certain words,...BLAME instead of "responsibility"). She has been taught/conditioned/trained to look for someone to BLAME with guilt, but neither is she responsible for "BAD"/evil. She is only being an enabler (by letting the husband believe his behavior is proper), but she hasn't done anything unjust and worthy of a penalty of any kind (even if she ever does, it's a loving husband's place to exonerrate her).

In order to be more objective about what SHE is doing, let's REALLY look at what she is doing (HER situation). She is not simply "assuming" guilt, she is ACCEPTING guilt ("assuming" is a broad term, what she is really doing is ACCEPTING BLAME/guilt). Well then, in that case...GAME OVER!.

She should not be accepting guilt (this is what the husband wants, not only because HE is really the one who is at fault, but because doing so demoralizes her and trains her to accept future guilt, evil is sly). Be aware of "semantics"/word usage (the husband will choose his words carefully in order to impose shame, guilt, humilation and intimidation,...evil is sly).

The husband is a selfish, controlling, narcissist and future abuser (if the situation is left alone instead of IMPROVED). He has a need to be the center of attention because his ego needs all the attention he can get (which wouldn't be necessary if his conscience was intact and he was truly a decent person in his past).

She has to "strategically" (with discretion) let the husband understand (let the husband get the idea) that she will no longer be so convenient as to accept guilt for his shortcomings and neglect, otherwise, the situation will just get worse in every way possible and she will soon be visiting Curezone on the Narcissist forum.

Left alone, things DO NOT get better, they get worse. Hopefully, she has 10 years of something good to build on.

Evil is illogical, peace and harmony are logical, but evil requires a person ot to think things through (incomplete thoughts). He will very often be "short" with her and anybody else around him for this reason and will also be SUBJECTIVE in his words and even his own thoughts. Therefore you will notive a very deliberate (subconscious) lack of "smarts" from him because an atmosphere of chaos and confusion (uncertainty) is necessary for him to get away with evil and unjust behavior. Now that you understand this, she can stand up to him with OBJECTIVE (not SUBJECTIVE) truth and genuine logic.




//www.curezone.org/forums/a.asp?q=4


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