You didn't post a site.

or were you referring to this forum?

Abusers don't just want a weak victim, but their glory is to have "created" weakness in a person that was of admirable and noble stature. Many abusers (because they are pathetic people to begin with) may in fact settle for a victim whom they don't admire. In my opinion, it is seeing nobility and strength of heart in the other person that they resent (it is the thrill of stealing and posessing the other person's glory that drives them). What a shame that victims can not see that they themselves are the trophy (simply because THEY are "trophy worthy") and that they glorify God by their own existence.

Abusers "in the making" love to make decisions (they fancy themselves the "DECIDERS" of the world) and are, not just "critical", but enthusiastic about having something to criticize. There's no shortage of things to criticize in this world, but they are never so enthusiastic as when they have an audience. A private, personal life is a great handicap to them, but they find solace (a "respite") in posessing a victim. For that reason, they will usually like being in public so they can "show off" as an "alpha male" (not just a pathetic weakness, but it's only for animals) and not be a "private person that is settled/satisfied in themselves", but a "private person who has a genuine need to hide in the darkness" lest their shame be discovered. The "audience" is their opportunity to be someone of their own creation (not God's creation, but their own).

There are signs of who will be an abuser, but we can only see them by contrast (the SELF must be the reference point, but our understanding of what humility is gets in the way). Humility is a personal prize, and this is the first thing the abuser sees in us. The abuser lusts after our humility and the glory of it, for it is their "lifeblood".

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