Re: Need advice before I make things worse..

No need to apologize!

I would gently suggest that you might want to look into marital counseling for a short time. Sounds as if there are communication issues.

But, I would like to stress that expecting sexual favors in trade for ANYthing is demeaning. Perhaps, he doesn't realize the damage that he creates when he does that and it might be a good idea to let him know that you do not appreciate it, one iota.

I'm relieved that there are no other similarities between your spouse and my ex. And, I apologize for sounding a false alarm - on these forums, it's very difficult to get a clear picture of most situations due to lack of info, history, etc. There have been many women (particularly) who have posted near-identical situations to the one that I Survived and most of them are locked in denial and fear. The mantra is almost verbatim for all, "He's a good man..." and they go on to list the exceptions.

Focusing on your Self is a very good idea. Try taking a course in something just for fun, like sculpting, painting, creative writing, engineering - whatever you have a keen interest in! When your husband begins seeing you evolving into an even more self-assured human being, he might just be apt to take a shot at taking steps for himself.

Best wishes to you! Tweet