Re: Need advice before I make things worse..

I wonder how many households face this type of scenario? 

Clearly you are working very hard and not getting the relaxation and rest you need.  Your husband is not taking an active role in assisting you in ways that you can see and ways that directly help you.  Can't the guy at least bring home flowers or offer to make dinner once in a while?

It really is hard to change other people, even those close to you.  I wish there was a way you could wave a magic wand over him in his sleep and he would wake up changed.  But, that just is not how we are created. 

May I suggest that you care for yourself with love and compassion?  You are the glue holding the family together.  You have every right to feel proud and strong.  He may not see it today or tomorrow.  He will not see this until you see your self in the most positive light.  Give yourself the appreciation you wish he would give you.  Take a moment after you do something well, like giving your children a time of happiness or education and remind yourself how valuable you are.   You do terrific, wonderful things all day long.  Let the glow of your good deeds grow inside of you.  As you become more comfortable feeling good about yourself life gets easier, you can accomplish more, and other people will notice.  He will notice.  But the most important thing is that you will see a great woman in the mirror.  It might help to picture a woman, real or imagined, that does everything you do with serenity and inner peace, a woman who inspires others to feel good about themselves, a woman who radiates.

Maybe things will change.  But most important, you will change.  Let go of him for a while.  He's used to things the way the are.  When the time is right he will change with you. 

Lastly, he may be a lump on the couch who likes to zone out in front of the computer or tv, but at least he enjoys physical sex with you.  This means he loves you.  I know it sounds weird, and it really is a clumsy way of showing it, but we men are often simple and stupid when it comes to communicating.  Just don't wait for him to come around before you care for yourself.


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