I suggest that you talk to the user Ayehasherayeh. He seems to have it figured out.
But here's my two cents. It is more important that the mind heals the scars than any topical treatment. The mind will do what you instruct it to do. In your e-mail alone, you said it is impossible to heal your scars at least three times. If you tell yourself that's it's impossible, how do you expect to heal?
Hope it helps.
And please, if you are seriously thinking of suicide, e-mail me. willy_lavendel@hotmail.com