Re: Is it ever ok NOT to forgive someone?

I honestly thought this was from my daughter!

Had to double-check the writing all the way down to where you say you are an only child.

First of all, I am SO SORRY you feel this way. THIS *IS* the way you feel, though. It is understandable and honorable that you entirely own how you feel. *Feelings* are funny creatures, though. I, too, hated my mother INTENSELY for a long time but I know the huge hole that her absence in my life has created. NOTHING undoes the damage, or so it seems. She just wasn't there for me. I beat my emotional head bloody trying to win her love. NOW..............I wouldn't let her in my life for all the tea in China. But that doesn't mean I don't honor her. I do think (and know deep down inside) that because of my being in the field of taking care of the elderly--how in God's name could I then refuse to even take care of my own mom?!

You feel the way you feel but might you be wrong? My daughter was. Somethings she was correct about; but she just cannot connect some VERY important dots. She was abused by me at times when I was in enormous physical pain and I know she would give more compassion to a wounded DOG. How wrong is THAT?

And she has made a HERO out of the person who hurt me so bad physically that I couldn't take care of my daughter and her brother at times. How wrong IS THAT??

So, she is still young. YOU may be young; your own BRAIN may not be finished growing. Dr. Phil talks about this and it helps me have mercy on my daughter. I have asked her forgiveness always and must always stay in that position forever. I hurt her. I told on MYSELF. I was BRUTAL about my own sin. That is the way one has to be.

Do you know you just may be your mom's only hope?

IF ...............you forgive HER..............what will that do for her?

Think about it. (On the other hand, I have had to totally keep other family members at arm's length-well, actually OUT of my life ENTIRELY--because they refuse to tell the truth about sins THEY had committed. I figure if I can be honest, I demand it of others. Only way to go--TELL THE TRUTH.

If you have sinned against your mother IN ANY WAY, go to her and ask HER forgiveness. It might just really open her eyes to the things she has done that violate your boundaries and have damaged YOU. Set the boundaries and draw your lines in the sand ever so carefully..........then stick to them.

My best to you, young lady. Tweet