How to Reconcile with Dastardly Deeds Done in a Past Life?

Hi,

I went to a psychic/channeler a number of years ago to get some insight into some physical problems I was having. Although I am a strong believer in reincarnation, I was not expecting to get that kind of info. from the channeling. What I learned really threw me for a loop.

The lifetime previous to this one was a very violent one. I was a poor black woman/prostitute who had been the victim of incest. I was eventually beaten to death by my boyfriend (I think) and was reborn into this life about seven years after my death. So although I don't remember details about that lifetime, the channeler assured me that I actually carry a lot of those experiences around with me today. At first I was in shock and disbelief but the more I thought about it, the more I could relate my experiences in this lifetime to what I had been told. I was also told that I had been actually going 'downhill' for many lifetimes as a way to punish myself for deeds done way back in the 1400s or 1500s. I had been a Spanish soldier sent over to Mexico or the States to settle the land. I was a fastidious type (still am) and so took my orders seriously. I wound up killing many (hundreds? thousands?) of natives but when I died myself, I realized that I had been duped or tricked into doing it by being lied to. I couldn't forgive myself and believed that the Creator would not forgive me either. As a result I have been hiding from the Creator and all succeeding lifetimes have been about punishing myself for all the killing that I did.

Getting back to the lifetime of sexual abuse in the lifetime previous to this one - I was born with an incredible amount of shame. I have lived with this previously unexplainable shame my whole life and it severely hampers my ability to enjoy life. Does anyone reading this have any experiences with resolving deeply felt emotional issues stemming from past lives without actually remembering those lifetimes? For instance, I have a real aversion to responsibility and have wondered to myself if this doesn't stem from being given the responsibility of killing all those people as a soldier and then feeling such guilt and remorse at having done so. It's like I am terrified to be given any kind of responsibility. I am also very afraid of my own power, preferring instead to be apathetic and inert instead of actively dynamic.

I went to an intuitive healer recently and I recounted the above information I had been given by that channeler all those years ago about my past lives and he immediately was able to tune into the one where I was that Spanish soldier. He saw it clearly in his mind's eye and his vision of me in that life was so powerful, tears came to his eyes. He confirmed that that lifetime and the unresolved residual guilt/remorse that I feel are indeed the continuing source of my problems (physical and emotional). He then worked through his lunch hour trying to get me to find the value in having had those experiences in that life, and to be non-judgmental about what happened. That's not easy to do on a conscious level let alone get that message across to my subconscious. How to forgive myself for hurting so many people?

Anyway, these are just some of my thoughts. Would appreciate any comments or suggestions.
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Hi,

I went to a psychic/channeler a number of years ago to get some insight into some physical problems I was having. Although I am a strong believer in reincarnation, I was not expecting to get that kind of info. from the channeling. What I learned really threw me for a loop.

The lifetime previous to this one was a very violent one. I was a poor black woman/prostitute who had been the victim of incest. I was eventually beaten to death by my boyfriend (I think) and was reborn into this life about seven years after my death. So although I don't remember details about that lifetime, the channeler assured me that I actually carry a lot of those experiences around with me today. At first I was in shock and disbelief but the more I thought about it, the more I could relate my experiences in this lifetime to what I had been told. I was also told that I had been actually going 'downhill' for many lifetimes as a way to punish myself for deeds done way back in the 1400s or 1500s. I had been a Spanish soldier sent over to Mexico or the States to settle the land. I was a fastidious type (still am) and so took my orders seriously. I wound up killing many (hundreds? thousands?) of natives but when I died myself, I realized that I had been duped or tricked into doing it by being lied to. I couldn't forgive myself and believed that the Creator would not forgive me either. As a result I have been hiding from the Creator and all succeeding lifetimes have been about punishing myself for all the killing that I did.

Getting back to the lifetime of sexual abuse in the lifetime previous to this one - I was born with an incredible amount of shame. I have lived with this previously unexplainable shame my whole life and it severely hampers my ability to enjoy life. Does anyone reading this have any experiences with resolving deeply felt emotional issues stemming from past lives without actually remembering those lifetimes? For instance, I have a real aversion to responsibility and have wondered to myself if this doesn't stem from being given the responsibility of killing all those people as a soldier and then feeling such guilt and remorse at having done so. It's like I am terrified to be given any kind of responsibility. I am also very afraid of my own power, preferring instead to be apathetic and inert instead of actively dynamic.

I went to an intuitive healer recently and I recounted the above information I had been given by that channeler all those years ago about my past lives and he immediately was able to tune into the one where I was that Spanish soldier. He saw it clearly in his mind's eye and his vision of me in that life was so powerful, tears came to his eyes. He confirmed that that lifetime and the unresolved residual guilt/remorse that I feel are indeed the continuing source of my problems (physical and emotional). He then worked through his lunch hour trying to get me to find the value in having had those experiences in that life, and to be non-judgmental about what happened. That's not easy to do on a conscious level let alone get that message across to my subconscious. How to forgive myself for hurting so many people?

Anyway, these are just some of my thoughts. Would appreciate any comments or suggestions. Tweet