Re: Boyfriend broke up but hasn't moved out

Don't hate, dislike or even let yourself become dissatisfied with where you came from. It's like a plant being dissatisfied with the ground that it grew from (low self-esteem and low self-respect).

No matter how much you love them, they are not returning that love. They will, of course, SAY they are, but it is neither a MATCHING amount, nor is it GENUINE (unrequited). Love is only genuine if it is based on RESPECT.

Children's OBSESSIONS with loving their parents are often misguided because parents do not always deserve GOOD honor (Honor your mother and father). To truly honor them, sometimes the child is left with no other choice but to give them the recognition for forsaking their God-given duty to lovingly care for their children.

Be objective and realize that they are not helping you to be a happy, independent person. NEVER feel guilty about keeping a healthy distance from them, that kind of guilt can produce subconscious insecurities and shame (low self-esteem, low self-respect) for the rest of your life. What you are experiencing in this situation is just another part of life. Parents are not gods, they are just people (people who have the choice to either forsake or fulfill their responsibilities just like other people).

They are NOT doing their best (remember, they will tell you they are, they even think they are, but they've lost the abilty to love and respect you as they should because of their selfishness). What they are doing IS wrong (always keep your sense of right and wrong intact).

Your brother is like a trophy to them, they always get to show him off (that is why they FAVOR (not truly love) him. For the most part, they are incapable of TRUE love.

When your parents get older, your brother will, most likely forsake your parents and even likely become an elder abuser (because he learned the same kind of shallow, selfish, insincere and artificial love that your parents have for you). The moment of truth is when they become older and need extra care, your brother will treat them the same as they have treated you (with neglect and a lack of respect).

I'm 51 years old and I'm telling you from experience (my sister has always been the trophy and I was the flunky, something to do with being a middle child?...I don't know, but it got out of hand, maybe it's just human nature at it's worst, but you have to come grips with this heartache before it tares your life apart, do you want a life of nightmares?). Actually, I think it's that they've noticed your good nature and resent it because it makes them look bad (it's a kind of jealousy and you offend their ego). They react by being condescending control freaks that choose their words carefully in order to impose shame, guilt, humiliation and intimidation so that they can manipulate you (strategic communication in order to control the situation).


Forgiveness is:
1) nice
2) kind
3) beautiful
4) wonderful
5) lovely
...etcetera

BIG DEAL! (except God's forgiveness of us, but He's not a victim and suffers no consequences).

If you fall off a mountain, you're still going to have broken bones or be a vegetable in the hospital for the rest of your life after you forgive the person who pushed you or forgive the mountain for being slippery. So even after people forgive each other, there are still consequences for the VICTIM to deal with. Whether or not there is actually a perpetrator that will show remorse for a misdeed, the spectator who knows of your misfortune has the option of showing COMPASSION to the victim instead of indifferently suggesting that you forgive. Forgiveness is of value both spiritually and as therapy for the victim, but do not disregard your own suffering (even though other people have that tendency). Don't become obsessed with your pains and sorrows, but do respect them and give them recognition (kinda like,...if you don't feel sorry for yourself, who will?).

For a sensitive person (which you have become because now you recognized this 'love betrayal'), there are many more disappointments in life and you will tend to be depressed for these reasons, so realize that you are going to deal with things like this for the rest of your life and learn to deal with PROPERLY by simply ACCEPTING that...

THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS and there's really nothing else you can
do about it.


Tweet