Re: YooHoooo! Over here Anthony!

Tracey you are somethin else!

I just realized last week I was looking at some horoscopes and fortune telling sites on internet and I kept coming up with something to the effect that a foreigner would bring me unexpected gifts. The next day or so you told me about the mayan stuff and it really is opening my eyes to possibilities and answering some questions. Now I find that you're in Canada. I'm in Illinois. Hmmmm. Maybe you're the benevolent one.

I read your other post. When you mentioned the relationship thing it really clicked but some trepidation set in because it seems like I have been working on that for several years. I have always related to people differently I use different thought processes than most. By that I mean I use different methods of obtaining answers. (If there's a wall I might go around, or under, or even through as opposed to those who concentrate on scaling it) People usually 't understand me and I don't blame them!

But the next day my ex-wife who had not been communicating much made a sudden change and let me know she was wanting some change in that. I did not want to judge her but my intuition said be careful as I fell for something similar once before that turned out to be a trick.

I have had several one on one relationships begin which have been missing for a long time and I'm learning how to express myself again. Yes I consider myself a writer even though I have not written creatively since I was in school. I was a child author. I write technical reports for my job but am thinking about creatively again. I still have it in me. I will try the stream writing too.

The crushing thing has happened 3-4 times and it was fear based I'm sure I think they mostly occurred when my grandmother died and I was going thru divorce and my dad was dying all at the same time. It really seemed happy to choke me and it would take me awhile to come out of a paralyzed state and concentrate it away where it would retreat but not leave. It has not occurred for some time.

I have not been able to discuss this stuff until this forum so I am relieved to tell some of this.

You know the thing I can't forget is on 3 occassions I have heard my own unmistakeable voice come from inside me and not thru my mouth. Short phrases like "Anthony" or "Start Over" when praying about an answer to a problem. I feel that I can trust inner self before spirit guides. I used to think they were same is that possible?

I am going down south Tuesday the 25th for thanksgiving so before or by Tuesday morn would be great as I will leave late mornin.

Well you have definitely been helpin me with reassurance and helping me to trust. my reservations are fear based and strong and masquerade as logic and analysis and self preservation. So your "inspiration" gives me motivation to continue.

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