Re: funny you should ask...

I read your post and it seems we have had many of the same experiences but I just cheated a little by having a NDE to give me some insight into where I was wondering away from where I needed to be going.
As far as my NDE perspective of hell, I am not familiar with any kind of hell that a hellfire preacher might preach but as soon as I go beyond my NDE, I face my own lack of the very substance I was given freely in heaven...I begin judging and rationalizing. Could God could have judged me like an abusive father and beat me up for an eternity when I died or does God let us off the hook and like in my NDE show us all of our blessings and every good thing that has ever happpened us in our life?


So much of what you say resonates with me. I see you are hung up on the hell issue. I have problems reconcilling hell myself but I do not discount the possibility even though my experience did not validate or discount the possibility of its existence. What is hell? In my NDE, I believe I chose to go back to my body to burn because I had not learned the lessons I need to learn that flesh had to teach me. I believe that burning is the wyrm buring. I chose to burn and hunger and thrist. Perhaps one day, I will learn those lessons and no longer need thirst and hunger. I believe the part of us that burns, that dies when we leave our body, will burn until we choose not to burn. When we choose to burn, this is when we fall.

As soon as I go beyond my NDE though, I am in the world of guessing but my guess is that the wyrm that burns is our spirit continually falling back into a physical chemical form because it has not learned its lesson that being in the flesh has to offer. I don't want to come back unless I can come back to a body that no longer hungers or thirsts. I am not sure if that means multiple carnations or if it means waiting until time ends or until all things are reconciled to love but all things will be reconciled to love. I experienced this. Time ends at that point and love will be an intricately weaved fabric of every soul finally and with their own free will surrendering flesh for love. I know that some of what I am saying is not what I know from my NDE, so it is probably not stated well enough to carry the weight of truth but rather this is what I wonder about when I try to reconcile the God of my faith to the loving God=Love of my NDE. Your take on it is not so different than my own perceptions if you were to tilt the light a little this way or that way?

I wonder if some of us hard headed souls have to experience slavery to know freedom? Like yourself, I know my actions never live up to the greatest expectations of the loving God. I can't beat myself up about it though. I try to do as much as I can to show God's love through my actions as I can even though I fail every moment to live up to what I know is unconditional love. Even in my imperfection God loves me. God doesn't see my own perceptions of imperfection though but rather, like a loving father/mother, God sees each fall as a means to get us to a point where we are strong enough to stand up and choose love. If I fall a million times, God still will not abandon me and say I am unteachable.

I talk to God all day but If I stop and listen for that quiet still voice you are talking about, I hear from God as well. There is a sure way to tell if it is God...If we hear from a God with unconditional love then that is God but if that voice puts conditions on love then that is the world trying to put a chain around our neck.

I have never succeeded at living in this life but there are no failures in heaven... If it takes until the end of time for us to all succeed, God will be there waiting for us until that day...until that last soul learns the lessons love has to give. Now that will be a beautiful day.