My heart goes out to you in your post you stated you felt you had nothing more. I have read Rudinskis post about his NDE. I do believe in the life after. I also believe God is Love. Believe me when i say you do not have to Die or have a NDE to experience Gods Amazing Love. It is all about being in tune with his spirit thru prayer (simply talking to God) He will reveal truths about your past and show you things in your future. At times it does play out like a movie. Your heart only has to be open to Him. All is not hopeless.
www.whoisjesus-really.org