Re: Any opinions or advice?

As a student of para-counseling I am involved in such topics, so here goes:

I know how you feel. Men are just different than women. Testerone thing ya know. So he is addicted to it. His friends probably all do it too or maybe even his father, brothers and uncles. Role models have a great effect on us. It doesn't make him a bad person and don't feel like he is cheating on you either. He might be afraid if he let's this go, he might lose something like erections or whatever. His very maleness. Some sort of insecurity present here. (Ask him when it all started---home,friends or/and school?)

I don't know how old he is but I want to share with you something sort of funny. I went to D Queen the other day and had some ice cream with a friend and in walked these two jocks, about 15 or 16 years old. The whole time they were in DQ they both were touching and rubbing themselves and their new toy. That is just the way guys are. Always checking to see if it is still attached.

As my Auntie use to say, "boys will be boys".

This has nothing whatsoever to do with you as a female. I am sure he would be the first to admit this to you.

I have been with a wonderful person for 2 years. When we got together he would look at other women while with me; to me that's totally inconsiderate. He also had p 0 r no's that he wanted to watch with me.

I explained that it is the height of humiliation to be with a man that looks at other women while he is with me. I understand that if they don't look, then they are dead. So go ahead and look, but don't do it with me and make me look stupid. He had no clue that this was the case. After my explaining this to him and how his fun and enjoyment was hurting me, he quit. Because as he says "you are so very important to me and I want you in my life".

Also, with p 0 r nos. If it was me, I would just say I don't want to be a part of it. Do what you want but I don't want to know anything about it. You can only take care of yourself and certainly cannot make anyone do anything and if you try, you are setting yourself up for a lot of grief and misery and an unhappy life.

I also told my special guy, and this really hit home with him, that the very girls you are watching many have diseases. They are not living a healthy and happy life and you are promoting it when you buy and watch them. If they are not in spiritual pain now, they will be in their lives (because of what they are doing as p 0 r no queens). I am sure he would be terrified to even have sex with them if he had a chance. No, he would not pick someone like that. Instead he has you.

When I explained all this to him it made sense. I was not emotional like some women can be. I just stated the facts; men understand that more. Simply put---- that when you do this when you are with me, you hurt me in a very deep way because you are very important to me.

It is a shame our society promotes sex the way it does. But our men are vulnerable to it through the computer and television. Easy access. It is not really all his fault as he is just a victim of society but if he can look into this a little deeper he might see the wisdom in it.

I hope this helps.





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