Re: Any opinions or advice?

Feeling betrayed and hurt is an appropriate response. You have been together for a year...he knows how you feel about p 0 r n but is obviously still in it's grips.

Some will say that there is nothing wrong with it and perhaps you should join him and loosen up a bit. Don't do it! There are many issues here...the least of which is that sex is a very emotional thing for most women. The folks who enjoy p 0 r n will tell you it's just a little p 0 r n...what's the big deal? Well if it's not a big deal then they should be able to change their behavior if they know their partner has a major problem with it.

The big deal is when viewing p 0 r n one is lusting in their hearts for something/someone else. They are essentially programming themselves. I personally don't want to be with someone who is thinking about something they saw in a movie/mag. I want to be with someone who wants to share an experience with me...who is looking to please me as well as be pleased by me. It's a give and take and a VERY intimate part of your relationship.

p 0 r n is also addicting. My X was into it quite intensely...to the point that by the time I decided we wouldn't be having a relationship any longer, he was into some seriously disgusting garbage. Of course it doesn't always get to that point but do you really want to invest more years into the relationship only to find out later he's still involved or that the behavior has escalated? (I wasted seven years tryig to help my X work through this and other issues).

Some years ago I had allowed my Brother in law to move in my home, in exchange for doing some work. He had hidden some mags under a bed in a spare room. It happened to be the kid's play room. Needless to say when I found them he was told to leave. The problem for him was my friend was engaged to him and had just had a similar conversation as yours...only thing was he denied that he was looking at them. She was smart and broke their engagement. (By the way, it doesn't impress me that your BF didn't lie about it...it just tells me that he has decided he's going to partake whether you like it or not and does not care who knows) Big red flag.

Anyway, this is something very important to you. Do NOT compromise yourself. I know you have a year invested in the relationship but in the overall scheme of things that is not a lot of time. Fact is he knows your stand and doesn't share your view.

I would take a break from being with this person and take some time to think about what you want in a mate. Don't waste time trying to make your BF into something he's not...and don't delude yourself into thinking this is not a big deal.

I'd make a list of traits you would like in a man and when considering a person, stick to the list. Don't make excuses or compromise because he's cute or has a great body or any other shallow reason. You are a valuable person and your goal is to be with someone who values you as a partner.

I wish you well.