Re: Vagina not as tight as it used to be

Couple of thoughts and suggestions.

(1) Be sure your doing the Kegel exercises correctly. Increase the length of time that you 'hold' or keep the muscles contracted (like your stopping mid-stream), Do them any time you remember during the day and increase the amount of time you hold. (eg) if you hold now for 5 seconds.. the next time.. practice holding for 10 seconds for a while... continue increasing the hold after you reach a comfort level at the increased hold time.

(2) A very old fashion method that women used years ago before all the fancy Rx drugs was ALUM... YOu may want to do a goodgle search. Here is a site that specifically addresses your concerns (its a little 'graphic' or discriptive).. and its in 'advise' format... Question and answers.. forum style.

http://alt.com/magazine/advice/9283.html

(3) not to be inappropriate, but there is a difference between 'no feelings, Vs. 'tightness'. WHen your spouse uses his fingers and touches your "G" spot or the sides of your virgina.. Do you have feelings? If not, that may be more related to possible tearing or interference with the nerves up to the brain. Nerves grow back very slowly and may take more time to knit together.

(4) you stated that you do have cllmaxs during oral sex.. DO you now and have you ever had 'vaginal' cllmaxs (cllmaxs during intercourse)?

(5) How is your 'stress' levels.. Our sexuality and the abiity to enjoy sex is very much about 'being relaxed' or 'in your head'. As Im sure you know, what goes on in your head has a lot to do with how 'relaxed, open, receptive etc. you are. To the best of your knowledge, are you aware of any (even mild) 'anxiety'.. perhaps by being interrupted with the kids.. or of making too much noise, etc. Anxiety can interfere as welll with your abiity to experience cllmax. Many have problems with vaginal cllmaxs when there is even a slight amount of anxiety yet still experience oral cllmax.

(6) The most important thing to consider is ATTITUDE AND EXPECTATIONS. WIthout a doubt, this has gone on long enough for you to 'be a concern (your words). There is NOTHING that will interfere with your ability to Feel or experience cllmax then EXPECTATIONS or Anxiety about NOT HAVING AN cllmax or FOCUSING on THAT AGENDA.. I'm sure you know that its far more important to ALLOW pleasure, then to FOCUS on 'the agenda' (having an cllmax). Since you are 'more or increasingly concerned' enough to be on this forum with this question.. You may have to 'step back' a little with the expectation or agenda. (ie) Being self- conscious over YOUR PERFORMANCE will only INCREASE YOUR ANXIETY and make it almost impossible to relax enough to allow an cllmax or just the 'really great feeling' and pleasure.

Good luck.. YEs I am a male...but have a lot of professional experience helping people with similar problems. I know this might have been a little more comfortable to hear from a female.. but my suggestions are based on experience.