Like I said earlier, not all people have the same positive experiences and I am very sorry that you have experienced so much sadness and pain due to your and others
abuse of LSD.
The studies mentioned above were controlled sessions with Sitters in a controlled environment. Everyone I personally know who has tried lsd has had rewarding and expansive experiences. Maybe, luckily, we all took safe amounts and were quite cautious about how we used it, ie, where we were, who we were with.
I don't know.
I am sorry that you've had such bad times, really I am.