Thank you -- more details -- Andreas, please read this also, thanks.

Dear Createmagik,

Thank you very much for your advice, and encouragement. It is very kind and generous of you to take interest in my situation and offer additional guidance.

I agree with you in concept, however, I am a bit apprehensive in dealing directly with the spiritual world. I feel that it could be potentially dangerous, and I am not experienced.

The other issue is, that I don't think that I trust myself to know what will ultimately be the best for me. An analogy would be that a child may like to eat ice cream everyday, but this would be detrimental to the child, so it would be best if this wish were not granted. In the same way, when I want something to happen very much, there is a part of me that has doubts about whether that particular path would ultimately be good for me, and I become unsure of whether I should pursue it.

Without going into too much detail, when I was 16, I had a crush on a guy. Direct contact was limited, but from what little contact we had, I thought that he was the nicest person in the world. I did not see him again until after I graduated from college, at which time his family visited my family. Apparently, they were interested in me, for one of their sons, but we never knew which one, for certain. My relatives, who acted as the middlemen, had their own interests, and did not convey messages properly, and I think they made both sides angry. So, that fell through, and I was broken hearted. Two and a half years later, my parents decided on someone else, and I did what was expected of me.

Throughout my painful and disappointing marriage, I was completely faithful to my husband, and never entertained thoughts of anyone else. However, now that that is over, and I have heard that this other person has not been married, I feel that maybe something was meant to happen between us. But you see, I never really knew this person, and have no opportunity of getting to know him, as he lives 6 hours from me. If anything were to start up again, it would have to be arranged, and to start something like that, I would have to be sure, which I am not.

A good deal of my mental energy is spent obsessing about what to do, and what would be the outcome. As I mentioned earlier, I do not trust myself to know what would be best. So, I feel that if someone whom I trust, and who has spiritual abilities, like Andreas, could tell me if success and happiness lies in that path which I wish to pursue, if he knows what is in the mind and intention of the other person, if he could tell me how this will all happen (will his family visit again?), or anything else which is revealed to him, then I think I would feel some peace about this whole issue.

You have given me very good advice, however, due to my own limitations (i.e. my fear, and lack of trust in myself), I do not know how to make use of it. I hope that your good opinion has not changed after hearing the whole story. It may be difficult to understand, if you were not raised under the same rules as I was. Recently, a good person has shown interest, repeatedly asking me to dinner, concerts, etc., but I have been afraid to accept. The whole idea of any physical contact before marriage is something I am very uncomfortable with. Besides, I have never been interested in anyone other than this man with whom I thought I fell in love, at age 16. I don't think I could ever think of anyone else until I know for sure that nothing was meant to happen between him and me. It may sound like a crazy obsession to anyone else, but to me, this is reality.

If you do have further advice, or insights of your own, I would be very happy to receive and consider them. Again, I thank you for your concern and generous advice.
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