Re: I am at a loss...was doing so well, now I'm not.

My heart goes out to you. I feel the same exact way you do right now. However mine stems from a life of physical (childhood) mental and emotional abuse by my mother and step father, still till this day, I am being attacked emotional by them. I was just told about an hour ago, "I'm useless, don't do anything right and I killed the dam grass, because my lawn chair fell on it and killed it." I'm 34 years old, have a wonderfull daughter, and the best husband in the world. Sadly, I was guilted into buying a duplex with the parents when I was in my early 20's. Always wanting to please them.
I'm not a cutter or buner, I am a PICKER. I pick at everything, pimples, freckles, warts so on. If I can get my fingernails around it, I pick it!! I have a pinpoint hole in my forhead from a blackhead that I picked untill it left a hole (5 years ago) Most recently, I had something on my check not sure what type of blemish it was I picked that for days it would scare I'd pick it off now I have a nice little hole (of course there is skin under it) that's about the size of a 10mm bead and it's very noticeable. My arms and breasts are all scared from picking. I find that when my parents start PICKING at me I start picking myself! Someone once said it was a way of dealing with the emotional pain, release little bits of it by picking it out. Who knows? I do know it's an awfull thing to have to go through. Don't be so hard on yourself. We do deserve to live and to be happy.
Good Luck,
Love, Libra
P.S. It's a good thing the body is made up of so much water. I never realized how many tears a person could shed.
Tweet