Re: Silently standing at the boundary...

Wow! Your story sounds eerily familiar. I too went through very similar quandaries when I was young. I was also raised mormon and in my youth I realized I was being decieved. Trust me, the awful feelings of mormonism disappear with time. Also, it doesn't help that teenagers are dealing with insanity everyday. I hated being a teenager. I too had many cuts on my arms and took bottles of pills hoping that i would just "not wake up." Well, I did, but very sick from overdosing. I am still not mormon despite the hell it caused as a teenager within my immediate family and extended family. The mormon faith is deep in my lineage. My fifth great grandfather is Brigham Young himself, and my maiden name is Young. I was expected to follow in line... Well, now I am turning 30 in 3 days and I can tell you for certain that the shadow of mormonism no longer follows me. My family accepted me and my beliefs when I was in my 20s. I can actually say that it is a pleasure to be around mormons now. I think that most mormons know that deep down there is a lot of darkness and evil in their beleifs. A lot of wonderful feelings as well, but the trade off is your intellectual well being. Follow your heart... Believe that there is an end to this that doesn't require dying. As you get older all the mysteries about God will become clearer. The anguish of not knowing what is true will not last forever. As long as you are searching, you are headed in the right direction. I am not going to give you any opinions about my beliefs. Just know that many people evolve the the same conclusions I have, and we are better off for it. I have peace and contentment. I am a CEO now, and I used to be a high school drop out with very few friends, if any, at times. Hang in their. Be strong! Beleive you are worth waiting for. I was. Tweet