I_am_'That'

    SOHAM BHAVO NAMASSKARAH

Jesus was passing through a village. The village was antagonistic. They would not shelter the disciples of Jesus; they refused. They would not give any food, not even water, so they were having to move to another village. The disciples said to Jesus, ”This is your moment. Show your miracles: destroy this village! Such irreligious people should not exist.”

These are the disciples who later on created the whole Christianity. They said, ”Destroy this village this very moment. This is the time! Show your miracles!” They are asking Jesus to prove that he is the Son, the Only Begotten Son. They are saying, ”Now tell your Father who is high in heaven to destroy this village this very moment!”

Why this arrogance? Why this anger? And they were prayerful people. They were praying daily; they were living with Jesus. Why this arrogance? There were simply some ordinary people in the town. They had only refused to give food. This is not a sin. This is up to them. If I come to your house and you refuse me food, okay – it is up to you. Why this arrogance? And not the whole city had denied them. There were small children and old men, they had not denied them: only a few people had. But the disciples said, ”Destroy this whole city. This whole village must be destroyed this very moment.”

The trees had not denied them shelter, but they were asking Jesus to destroy everything that belonged to the village. Why? Through prayer, through salutations, through worship, they have become more arrogant. They are not humble people; humility is far from them. And if they are not humble, how can they be religious? Why did this become possible? Because God is ”in heaven.” Then they could feel that ”The person who has denied us food is not Divine; the village is not Divine. God is somewhere in heaven and we are God’s chosen people. These people are anti-God, so destroy them.”

Real humility is possible only when God is not far away. He is your neighbour every moment. Wherever you are, He is your neighbour. To put God somewhere else, far away, is very easy, convenient, because then you can behave as you like with your neighbour and God is ”always on your side.”

I was reading something:

One French general was talking to an English general. It was after the Second World War. The French general said, ”We were continuously defeated and you were not defeated. Why is this so?”

The English general said, ”This is because of prayer. We pray before we start any fight. We pray!”

The French general said, ”But that we also do.”

The English general said, ”That is okay, but we pray in English and you pray in French. From where did you get this idea that God knows French? He cannot know it.”

This is how the so-called religious mind becomes arrogant. Sanskrit is the ”only sacred language”; you can laugh at the anecdote, but can you laugh at this? You think Sanskrit is the only sacred language and that the Vedas are the only scriptures written by God Himself. You think: ”The Koran? How is it possible! From where did you get the idea that God knows Arabic? He knows only Sanskrit!” Then you say, ”God is always on my side. If He insists on not being on my side, I can change my God. That is always within my capacity.” So because of that fear, ”He always remains on my side. He is my God; He has to follow me.”

This attitude is created because, for you, the whole Existence is not Divine. If the whole Existence is Divine, then God even understands the language of trees – not only Sanskrit and Arabic, but even the language of the stones. And then it is not a problem of language at all. Then language is irrelevant. It is not prayer which is meaningful now: it is a prayerful mind. And a prayerful mind is something totally different from a praying mind.

This sutra says that this is the only salutation, the only humbleness possible, but in a very paradoxical way. ”I am God”: to feel this is the salutation. We would have liked to say, ”You are God,” and then it would have been easy to salute. But this sutra says, ”I am God. This is the only salutation.” Then we will ask whom to salute. There is really no need to salute. There is no need to salute! It is not an activity; it is not something you have to do. If the whole Existence is Divine, then whatsoever you are doing is a salutation.

Because Kabir continued to work as he was working before his Enlightenment, he was asked about it. He was a weaver; and he continued weaving.

Disciples would come from far, very, very faraway places, and they would say, ”Why? You are an Enlightened One; you are now a Buddha. Why do
you continue weaving?”

Kabir would say, ”This is the only prayer I know. I was a weaver, so I only know how to salute Him in this way.”

Someone said to Kabir, ”But Buddha, when he became Enlightened, left everything.”

Kabir is reported to have said, ”He was a king. He knew only I know only this way. This is my prayer, and when I am weaving these clothes I am weaving them for the Divine.”  And then Kabir would go to the market to sell them.

So someone said to him, ”But you go to the market to sell them. You say these are for the Divine, so why do you not go to the temple and lay them at the Divine feet?”

Kabir said, ”I always lay them at the Divine feet, but my gods are waiting there in the market. My Ram is waiting there, and I believe in living gods.”

This attitude does not need any salutation. Now it is not an act to be done; rather, it is a way to live, your prayer can be just a part of your act – just one act among many. But to persons like Kabir it is not an act. It is a way to live.

So Kabir said, ”Whatsoever I am doing is prayer.”

It can be, but then the whole Existence must be Divine. Then whatsoever you are doing, if you are eating, it is prayer because it goes to the Existence. Then it is not you who are eating, but the Existence through you. Then, when you are moving or walking, it is prayer because it is the Existence moving through you, walking through you.

When you are dying it is prayer, because it is the Existence taking back that which was given. That which was made manifest is now becoming unmanifest. Then you are not in between. You are no more. You are just an opening, just an opening for the Existence, a window. Existence moves through you, in and out. You are nowhere in between at this moment of nothingness. Man can say, ”AHAM BRAHMASMI – I am the absolute; I am That.”

This is not an egoistic assertion: this is one of the most humble of assertions – but it looks very paradoxical. Life is such a complexity that if you have to assert simple truths you have to be paradoxical. If you are asserting complex truths you need not be paradoxical; you can be very logical. This has to be understood: only very simple truths are difficult to express – because the more simple they become, the more non-dual. And when it comes to the very center, then the statement has to imply all dualities.

Look at it in this way: the Upanishads say, ”God is near and God is far away.” If you say, ”He is only near,” it is false; if you say, ”He is only far away,” it is false, because that which is near can become far and that which is far can become near. You can move; you are already moving. ”He is everywhere”: this simple truth has to be expressed in a very paradoxical way. He is the nearest and the farthest; He is the minutest and the greatest; He is the seed and the tree; He is birth and death – because if He is life, then He must be both birth and death.

Why not simply say that He is life? Because in our minds, life is against death, so this simple truth – that He is life – cannot be asserted in this way. It has to be asserted in a paradoxical way: ”He is birth and He is death; He is both.” He is life only because He is both. He is the friend and the foe, because the foe can become the friend and the friend can become the foe. He is both! We would like Him to be the friend and never the foe, but our likings are not truths. Really, unless our likings and dislikings cease, we cannot come to the Truth. We cannot come to it because we go on choosing and projecting.

This statement is again a paradox. The first part of it, ”The feeling that I am Divine, I am That,” is the peak; and the second, ”... is the salutation,” is the valley. It is the valley and peak both. First there is the most egoistic assertion possible – ”I am That.” And then, falling down unto the feet of everything, the assertion, ”... is the salutation.” These are two extremes, two polar opposites, and many things are implied.

If you feel that you are inferior and then you bow down, it is not a salutation. It is just part of your inferiority. If you say, ”I am superior,” and you cannot bow down, then you are not really superior – because one who cannot bow down is dead. He cannot be superior. And one who cannot bow down is still afraid somewhere of his superiority – afraid that ”If I bow down I will not be superior.” Only one who is at ease with his superiority can bow down; only one who has gone beyond his inferiority can bow down. And this is the highest peak possible – ”I am That” – and then from there you bow down.

Buddha has given his past-life memories. In one, he says. ”I was just ignorant.” Buddha says, ”I was just ignorant. Then a Buddha, a person who had become Enlightened, passed through my village. I went to touch his feet. I touched his feet, but then suddenly I became aware that he was doing something. He was bowing down and then he touched my feet. I became afraid and I said, ’What are you doing? I should touch your feet; that is as it should be. But why are you touching my feet?’”

That Enlightened One said to Gautam Buddha, ”You are touching my feet because I am a Buddha. I am touching your feet because you are a Buddha also.”

Gautam Buddha, in his past life, said to him, ”But I am not. I am ignorant; I am no one.”

The Enlightened One said to him, ”Because you do not know what you are, you do not know what you can become. You are bowing to a present Buddha; I am bowing to a future Buddha. I have become manifest; you will become manifest. It is only a question of time.”

This bowing down of an Enlightened One is the secret of this sutra. He was a peak, and he is bowing down to an ignorant man. Now from his peak he can see another peak which is hidden in ignorance. It is not hidden for him; to him it is as clear as anything.

You can bow down to this ordinary Existence only when you feel that you are That! To say it in another way: unless you become God you cannot be humble, unless you become God you cannot be innocent. That innocence is expressed through this sutra. Salutations we know. We know about God, we know about salutations. But this sutra is very difficult. It is impossible to conceive of it. It makes you the God and it makes this being the God a basic condition for salutation.

To us, one must always salute to the higher, to that which is higher than us. But this sutra makes you the highest, and that is the basic condition for salutation. Whom to salute? You are the highest, so now salute the lowest. The salutation from the lower to the higher is just ordinary. There is nothing in it. It is the ordinary mind working – the political mind, the ambitious mind. It is working to salute the higher. But you are the highest. Now the mind will say that you need not salute anyone. Now the whole Existence must salute you. You are the highest. Now let the whole world come to you to salute; now let the whole Existence bow down to your feet.

This will be your feeling. If you take it as you are, if you begin to follow this sutra, this will be the feeling: ”Now let the whole world come and salute me.” But this sutra says that this is the basic condition for you to salute the Divine.

When there is no one whom you can ask, the ego feels starved. When you feel inferiority, you want someone to salute you. This is a hunger – a hunger for food. This shows that you are still just at the first stage of the mind: ”I am.” And below this stage there is nothingness, so whatsoever you put into this ”I am” goes deep into the abyss, and the ”I am” remains always vacant.

One day a seeker came to Mulla Nasrudin to ask him how to find Truth. Nasrudin said, ”There are many conditions to be fulfilled before I can accept you as a disciple. So come with me; I am going to the well to fetch some water.” He went there. On the way he said to the future disciple, ”Do not ask any questions because I have not accepted you yet as a disciple. When I accept you, you can ask. Just observe; do not ask anything. If you ask anything before I am back at my home, you disqualify yourself.”

So the future disciple thought that it was not such a difficult thing to just go to the well, fetch a bucket of water and then come back. ”I will remain totally silent,” he thought. So he kept silent. But Mulla was doing such absurd things that it was impossible to keep silent. He had two buckets – one bucket to pull water from the well and another, a bigger one, to fill with water. But the bigger one had no bottom, so he would pull the water and throw it into the bigger one with no bottom. The water would fall out, and then he would drop the bucket again.

So the future disciple said, ”What are you doing?”

Mulla said, ”Now you disqualify yourself. Now no more questions. Leave me! It is not your business. Who are you to ask me?”

The future disciple said, ”I am going! And there is no need to tell me to go because there is no need for me to stay with you. I am leaving, but I have one piece of advice for you. You can labour on this bucket your whole life, and it will never be filled.”

So Mulla said, ”I am concerned with the surface, not with the bottom. I am looking at the surface. When the surface is okay; I will go back to my home. To consider the bottom is irrelevant.”

The future disciple left, but in the night he could not sleep. ”What type of man is this?” he wondered. He began to brood. And as sleep began to come, he wondered, ”What could be the secret of it?” And he began to think of many, many clues. Then, by and by, he thought, ”It may be just that he was examining me, testing me, just seeing whether I can keep silence in a situation where it is impossible to be silent.”

So in the morning he ran back to Mulla Nasrudin and said, ”Pardon me; excuse me. It was sheer fault; it was my fault. I should have kept silent. But what was the secret of it?”

The Mulla said, ”Because I am not going to accept you as my disciple, I can let you know the secret. The secret is this – that the bucket was nothing but the first state of man’s mind. You go on filling it, but it will never be filled. But no one is concerned with the bottom. Everyone is concerned with the surface. You go on filling it with prestige, respect, wealth and everything else. You are only concerned with the surface. One day your ego will be found. But no one is concerned with the bottom – whether this bucket has any bottom at all.”

The disciple began to weep and said, ”Accept me! You are the right man.”

Mulla Nasrudin said, ”It is too late. This bucket is so helpful to me. Whenever someone turns up with a mind to be a disciple, this bucket disqualifies. And it has disqualified many and it has saved me much labour. But this bucket will not disqualify a person only if he has come to feel that his mind is a bucket without a bottom. Then he is qualified to be my disciple, because all discipleship is from  ’I am’ to ’I am not’.”

To drop from the bottom to the abyss, to the second layer of the mind, is what every discipleship is for. Then there is nothingness, and beyond that nothingness is the feeling of ”AHAM BRAHMASMI – I am That”.

 

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