Awareness: The Gateway Toward Eden

      CHIDAGNI SWAROOPAM DHOOPAH

It will be good to understand the old Biblical story of Adam and Eve. They were expelled from Heaven; they were expelled from the Garden of Eden. It is a very deep psychological story. God allowed them to eat anything they desired except one fruit. One tree was not to be touched at all, and that tree was the Tree of Knowledge. This is strange, God forbidding his children to eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge! This looks very contradictory. What type of a God is this? And what type of a father is against his children becoming wise and knowing? This story has troubled many minds.

Why should God prohibit knowledge? We value knowledge very much, but it was forbidden.

Adam and Eve existed in an animal world. They were blissful, but they were ignorant. Children are blissful, but they are also ignorant. And children, if they have to grow, must grow in knowledge. There is no other way of growth. And if you are ignorant you may be blissful, but you cannot be aware of your blissfulness.

This has to be understood: you can be blissful when you are ignorant, but you cannot feel your blissfulness, you cannot be aware of your blissfulness. The moment you begin to feel your blissfulness, you are out of ignorance. Knowledge has entered; you have become a knowing one. So Adam and Eve existed just as animals - absolutely ignorant and blissful. But remember, this blissfulness, too, was not a known fact to them. They were just blissful without knowing it.

The story says that the Devil tempted Eve to eat the fruit, and the reason the Devil could tempt Eve was this: he told her, "If you eat this fruit, you will be like gods." This is very meaningful. Unless you eat this fruit of Knowledge, the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge, you can never be like gods; you will remain animals. And that is why God had prohibited, forbidden them, to touch this tree. But they were tempted!

This word "devil" is very beautiful, and particularly for Indians. It has a different significance than for Christians because "devil" comes from the same word, from the same root, from which "deva" or "devata" - god - comes. "Devil" and "divine" both come from the same root. So it seems that the Christian story is a misrepresentation, somehow incomplete. One thing is known: the Devil himself was a rebellious god, a rebellious angel who rebelled against God. But he was a god himself.

Why am I saying this? Because to me there are not two forces in the world of God and the Devil; that dichotomy is false. There is only one force! And the dichotomy is not of two enemies, but of two polarities of one force: God and the Devil. It is one force working as two polarities, because unless a force works in two polarities it cannot work.

So to me this Biblical story takes a new meaning. God prohibited because you can tempt only if you prohibit. If the Tree of Knowledge had not been mentioned at all, it seems improbable that Adam would ever have thought of or imagined eating from this particular tree. The Garden of Eden was big, there were infinite trees. We do not even know the name of any other tree.

This tree became important because it became prohibited. This prohibition became an invitation; this denial became the temptation. It is not really the Devil who tempted. In the first place, God himself tempted. This was the temptation: "Do not go near the Tree of Knowledge; do not eat the fruit of it. Only one tree is prohibited; otherwise you are free." Suddenly this one tree becomes the most important in the Garden.

And to me "devil" is just another name for the Divine - the other polarity, and the Devil tempted Eve because then she could be "like the gods" - this was the promise. And who would not like to be like the gods? Who would not like it?

Adam and Eve were tempted and then they were expelled from Heaven. But this expulsion is part of the process. Really, this Heaven was an animal existence - blissful, but ignorant. Because of this eating of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge, Adam and Eve became human beings. Before that they were not human beings at all. "They became human beings": when I say this, I mean they became problems.

It is reported that the first words Adam asserted just coming out of the gate of the Garden were this: "We are living in a very revolutionary time." It was a revolutionary time. Never will the human mind know such a revolution again as this expulsion from the animal world, this expulsion from a blissful, ignorant existence. The times were really revolutionary. Other revolutions are just nothing by comparison. The greatest revolution was that - the expulsion.

But why were they expelled? The moment you know, the moment you become aware, you cannot live in bliss. Problems will arise. And even if you are in bliss, this problem will come to your mind: "Why am I in bliss? Why?" And you cannot feel bliss unless you feel anguish, because every feeling is possible only with its polar opposite. You can feel happiness only if you begin to feel unhappiness; you can begin to feel a healthy well-being only when you begin to feel illness; you cannot be aware of life unless you become afraid of death.

Animals live, but they are not aware that they are alive because they are not aware of any death. Death is not a problem for them, so they pass through life, but they are not alive in the same sense as man is. Man becomes alive, aware of his being alive, only because of death. With knowledge polarity comes into existence, and with polarity come problems. Then every moment is a conflict. Then every moment you are suspended as two. Then never again will you be one. You will be continuously divided, in conflict, in inner turmoil.

So, really, that was a revolution - the revolution, rather: Adam and Eve were turned out, expelled. Really, this story is very beautiful. No one expelled them, no one ordered them. No one said, "Go out!" They were out. The moment they became aware, they were not in the Garden at all. This was automatic. Think about this: a dog sitting here suddenly becomes aware of the situation. Then he is expelled. No one expels him, but he is no more an animal. He is thrown out of the animal kingdom and he can never again be the same.

Adam and Eve tried again and again to enter, but they have not yet found the gate again. They go around and around, but the gate is always missed. There is no gate. The expulsion is total and ultimate. They cannot enter again because knowledge is a sweet and bitter fruit - sweet and bitter both: sweet because it gives you power and bitter because it gives you problems; sweet because for the first time you become an ego, and bitter because with the ego every disease will be yours. It is a double-edged sword.

Adam was tempted because the Devil said, "You will become like the gods. You will be powerful." Knowledge is power, but if you know, you have to know both sides of the coin. You can feel more life, you can be more blissful, but you will become aware of death. You will be more blissful, but in the same proportion you will have to suffer anguish. This is the problem, this is what man is - a deep anguish, a deep division between two polarities.

You can feel life, but when death is there everything is poisoned. When death is there, every moment everything is poisoned. How can you be alive when death is there? How can you feel blissful when suffering is there? And even if a moment of happiness comes to you, it is fleeting. And when the moment is there, even then you are aware, that somewhere behind, the unhappiness is there, misery is there, hiding. It will come up soon - sooner or later. So even a moment of happiness is poisoned by your consciousness that somewhere unhappiness is hidden, is coming near. It is just by the corner, and you will have to meet it.

Man becomes conscious of the future, conscious of the past, conscious of life, conscious of death. Kierkegaard has called this consciousness "anguish". You can fall back, but that is a temporary measure. Again you will come up. So the only possibility is to grow - to grow in knowledge to a point from where you can jump out of it, because the jump is possible only from the extremes. One extreme we have: to fall back. We can do it, but it is impossible because we cannot remain in it. We are thrown forward again and again. The other possibility is that if we grow in awareness, there is a point when you are totally aware, where you transcend.

We have "known", now we must know something beyond knowledge. We have come out of the Garden because of knowledge and we can enter this Garden again only when we throw this knowledge. But this throwing is possible not by regression - that gate from which Adam was expelled we can never find again - we can find another gate from which Christ was invited or Buddha was invited. We can throw this knowledge, we can throw this awareness, but only from the extreme point where we are totally aware.

When one becomes totally aware, when even this feeling that    is thrown, when one becomes just like the animals when they are happy and blissful (they do not know that when you are totally aware you become a god), if that awareness is total, then you are simply aware without knowing that you are aware. This simple awareness will begin the entry - will be the entry. You will be again in the Garden - not as animals now, but as gods. And this is an inevitable process. This expulsion of Adam and the entry of a Jesus is an inevitable process. One has to be thrown out of one's ignorance: this is the first step. And then one has to be thrown out of one's knowledge: that is the second step.

This sutra is concerned with awareness...

       - to create the fire of awareness in oneself!

First it must be understood what is meant by awareness. You are walking; you are aware of many things: of the shops, of people passing by you, of the traffic, of everything. You are aware of many things, only unaware of one thing: yourself. You are walking on the street: you are aware of many things; you are only not aware of your Self! This awareness of the self Gurdjieff has called "self-remembering". Gurdjieff says, "Constantly, wherever you are, remember yourself."

For example, you are here. You are listening to me, but you are not aware of the listener. You may be aware of the speaker, but you are not aware of the listener. Be aware of the listener. Feel yourself here; you are here. For a moment a glimpse comes, and again you forget. Try!

Whatsoever you are doing, go on doing one thing inside continuously: be aware of your Self that is doing it. You are eating: be aware of yourself. You are walking: be aware of yourself. You are listening, you are speaking: be aware of yourself. When you are angry, be aware that you are angry. In the very moment that anger is there, be aware that you are angry. This constant remembering of the Self creates a subtle energy - a very subtle energy in you. You begin to be a crystallized being.

Ordinarily, you are just a loose bag. No crystallization, no center really - just a liquidity, just a loose combination of many things without any center - a crowd, constantly shifting and changing, with no master inside. By awareness is meant be a master! And when I say "Be a master", I do not mean to be a controller. When I say "Be a master", I mean be a presence - a continuous presence. Whatsoever you are doing or not doing, one thing must be constantly in your consciousness: that you are.

This simple feeling of oneself, that one is, creates a center - a center of stillness, a center of silence, a center of inner mastery - an inner power. And when I say "an inner power", I mean it literally. That is why this sutra says "the fire of awareness". It is a fire. IT IS A FIRE! If you begin to be aware, you begin to feel a new energy in you - a new fire, a new life. And because of this new life, new power, new energy, many things which were dominating you just dissolve. You have not to fight with them.

You have to fight with your anger, your greed, your sex, because you are weak. So, really, greed, anger and sex are not the problems. Weakness is the problem. Once you begin to be stronger inside, with a feeling of inner presence that you are, your energies become concentrated, crystallized on a single point, and a Self is born. Remember, not an ego but a Self is born. Ego is a false sense of Self. Without having any Self you go on believing that you have a Self. That is ego. Ego means a false Self. You are not a Self, and still you believe that you are a Self.

Maulungputra, a seeker of Truth, came to Buddha. Buddha asked him, "What are you seeking?"

Maulungputra said, "I am seeking my Self. Help me!"

Buddha asked him to give a promise that whatsoever was said would be done by him. Maulungputra began to weep and he said, "How can I promise?'I' am not.'I' am yet not. How can I promise? I do not know what I am going to be tomorrow. I do not have any Self which can promise, so do not ask me the impossible. I will try. I can say this much at the most: I will try. But I cannot say that whatsoever you say I will do, because who will do it? I am seeking that which can promise and which can fulfill a promise. 'I' am yet not."

Buddha said, "Maulungputra, to hear this I asked you that question. If you had promised, I would have turned you out. Had you said, 'I promise that I will do it,' then I would have known that you are not really a seeker for the Self, because a seeker must know that 'he' is yet not. Otherwise, what is the purpose of seeking? If you are already, there is no need. You are not! And if one can feel this, then the ego evaporates."

Ego is a false notion of something which is not there at all. "Self" means a center which can promise. This center is created by being continuously aware, constantly aware. Be aware that you are doing something - that you are sitting, that now you are going to sleep, that now sleep is coming to you, that you are falling. Try to be conscious in every moment, and then you will begin to feel that a center is born within you, things have begun to crystallize, a centering is there. Everything now is related to a center.

We are without centers. Sometimes we feel centered, but those are moments when a situation makes you aware. If there is suddenly a situation, a very dangerous situation, you will begin to feel a center in you because in danger you become aware. If someone is going to kill you, you cannot think in that moment, you cannot be unconscious in that moment. Your whole energy is centered, and that moment becomes solid. You cannot move to the past, you cannot move to the future. This very moment becomes everything. And then you are not only aware of the killer: you become aware of yourself - the one who is being killed.

In that subtle moment you begin to feel a center in yourself. That is why dangerous games have their appeal. Ask someone going to the top of Gaurishanker, of Mount Everest. When for the first time Hillary was there, he must have felt a sudden center. And when for the first time someone was on the moon, a sudden feeling of a center must have come. That is why danger has appeal. You are driving a car and you go on to more and more speed, and then the speed becomes dangerous.

Then you cannot think; thoughts cease. Then you cannot dream. Then you cannot imagine. Then the present becomes solid. In that dangerous moment, when any instant death is possible, you are suddenly aware of a center in yourself. Danger has appeal only because in danger you sometimes feel centered.

 

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