Awareness: The Gateway Toward Eden_

      CHIDAGNI SWAROOPAM DHOOPAH

Nietzsche somewhere says that war must continue because only in war is a Self sometimes felt - a center is felt - because war is danger. And when death becomes a reality, life becomes intense. When death is just near, life becomes intense and you are centered. But in any moment when you become aware of yourself. there is a centering. But if it is situational, then when the situation is over it will disappear.

It must not be just situational. It must be inner. So try to be aware in every ordinary activity. When sitting on your chair, try it: be aware of the sitter. Not only of the chair, not only of the room, of the surrounding atmosphere, be aware of the sitter. Close your eyes and feel yourself; dig deep and feel yourself.

Herrigel was learning with a Zen Master. He was learning archery for three years continuously. And the Master would always say, "It is good. Whatsoever you are doing is good, but not enough." Herrigel himself became a master archer. His aims became one hundred percent perfect, and still the Master would say, "You are doing well, but it is not enough."

"With one hundred percent perfect aims!" said Herrigel. "Then what is your expectation? How can I now go further? With one hundred percent accuracy, how can you expect any more?"

The Zen Master is reported to have said, "I am not concerned with your archery or your aims. I am concerned with you. You have become a perfect technician. But when your arrow leaves the bow you are not aware of yourself, so it is futile! I am not concerned with the arrow reaching the aim. I am concerned with YOU! When the arrow in the bow is arrowed, inside also your consciousness must be arrowed. And even if you miss the aim it makes no difference, but the inner aim must not be missed and you are missing that. You have become a perfect technician, but you are an imitator." But to a Western mind or, really, to a modern mind (and the Western mind is the modern mind), it is very difficult to conceive of this. It appears nonsense. Archery is concerned with a particular efficiency of aiming.

By and by Herrigel became disappointed, and one day he said, "Now I am leaving. It seems impossible! It is impossible! When you are aiming at something, your awareness goes to your aim, to the object, and if you are to be a successful archer you have to forget yourself - to remember only the aim, the target, and forget everything. Only the target must be there." But the Zen Master was continuously forcing him to create another target inside. This arrow must be double-arrowed: pointing toward the target outside and continuously pointing toward the inside - the Self.

Herrigel said, "Now I will leave. It seems impossible. Your conditions cannot be fulfilled." And the day he was leaving, he was just sitting. He had come to take leave of the Master, and the Master was aiming at another target. Someone else was learning, and for the first time Herrigel was not involved. He had just come to take leave; he was sitting. The moment the Master would be finished with his teaching, he would take leave and go. For the first time he was not involved.

But then, suddenly, he became aware of the Master and the double-arrowed consciousness of the Master. The Master was aiming. For three years continuously he was with the same Master, but he was more concerned with his own effort. He had never seen this man - what he was doing. For the first time he saw and realized, and suddenly, spontaneously, with no effort, he came to the Master, took the bow from his hand, aimed at the target and released the arrow. And the Master said, "Okay! For the first time you have done it. I am happy."

What had he done? For the first time he was centered in himself. The target was there, but he was also there - present. So whatsoever you are doing, whatsoever - no need of any archery: whatsoever you are doing, even just sitting - be double-arrowed. Remember what is going on outside and also remember who is inside.

Lin-chi was lecturing one morning and someone suddenly asked, "Just answer me one question: Who am I?"

Lin-chi got down, and went to the man. The whole hall became silent. What was he going to do? It was a simple question. He should have answered from his seat. He reached the man. The whole hall was silent.

Lin-chi stood before the questioner looking into his eyes. It was a very penetrating moment. Everything stopped. The questioner began to perspire. Lin-chi was just staring into his eyes. And then Lin-chi said, "Do not ask me. Go inside and find out who is asking. Close your eyes. Do not ask 'Who am I?' Go inside and find out who is asking, who is this questioner inside. Forget me. Find out the source of the question. Go deep inside!"

And it is reported that the man closed his eyes, became silent and suddenly he was an Enlightened One.

He opened his eyes, laughed, touched the feet of Lin-chi and said, "You have answered me. I have been asking everyone this question and many answers were given to me, but nothing proved to be an answer. But you have answered me."

"Who am I?" How can anyone answer it? But in that particular situation - a thousand persons silent, a pin-drop silence - Lin-chi came down with strained eyes and then just ordered the man, "Close your eyes, go inside and find out who the questioner is. Do not wait for me answer. Find out who has asked." And the man closed his eyes. What happened in that situation? He became centered. Suddenly he was centered, suddenly he became aware of the innermost core.

This has to be discovered, and awareness means the method to discover this innermost core. The more unconscious you are, the further away you are from your Self. The more conscious, the nearer you reach to your Self. If the consciousness is total, you are at the center. If the consciousness is less, you are near the periphery. When you are unconscious, you are on the periphery where the center is completely forgotten. So these are the two possible ways to move.

You can move to the periphery; then you move to unconsciousness. Sitting at a film, sitting somewhere listening to music, you can forget yourself; then you are on the periphery. Even listening to me, you can forget yourself. Then again you are on the periphery. Reading the Gita or the Bible or the Koran, you can forget yourself. Then you are on the periphery.

Whatsoever you do, if you can remember yourself then you are nearer to the center. Then someday, suddenly you are centered. Then you have energy. That energy, this sutra says, is the fire. The whole life, the whole existence, is energy, is fire. Fire is the old name; now they call it electricity. Man has been labelling it with many, many names, but fire is good. Electricity seems a little bit dead; fire looks more alive. This inner fire, the sutra says, is the incense. When someone is going to worship, you take some incense, dhoop, with you. That dhoop, that incense, is useless unless you have come with your inner fire as the incense.

This Upanishad is trying to give inner meanings to outer symbols. Every symbol has an inner counterpart. The outer is good in itself, but it is not enough. And it is only symbolic; it is not the substance. It shows something, but it is not the real. You must have seen incense. It is burning everywhere in temples. It is good in itself, but it is only an outer symbol. An inner fire is needed. And just as incense gives a perfume, the inner fire also gives it.

It is said that wherever Mahavir moved, everyone would feel his presence as a subtle perfume. That has been said about many persons. It is possible! The more you are centered inside, the more your whole presence becomes a perfume. And those who have the receptivity, they will feel it. So enter a temple, not with outer incense, but with inner incense. And this inner incense can be achieved only through awareness. There is no other way.

Act mindfully. It is a long, arduous journey and it is difficult to be aware even for a single moment. The mind is constantly flickering. But it is not impossible. It is arduous, it is difficult, but it is not impossible. It is possible! For everyone it is possible. Only effort is needed - and a wholehearted effort. Nothing should be left: nothing should be left inside untouched. Everything should be sacrificed for awareness. Only then is the inner flame discovered. It is there. If one goes to find out the essential unity between all the religions that have existed or that may exist ever, then this single word "awareness" can be found.

Jesus tells a story:

A master of a big house has gone out, and he has told his servants to be constantly alert - because any moment he can come back. So for twenty-four hours they have to be alert. Any moment the master can come - any moment! There is no fixed moment, no fixed day, no fixed date. If there is a fixed date, then you can sleep, then you can do whatsoever you like, and you can be alert only on that particular date because then the master is coming. But the master has said, "I will come at any moment. Day and night you have to be alert to receive me."

This is the parable of life. You cannot postpone. Any moment the Divine may just come; any moment the master may come. One has to be alert continuously. No date is fixed; nothing is known about when that sudden happening will be there. One can do only one thing: be alert and wait!

Rabindranath has written a poem "The King of the Night." It is a very deep parable:

There was a great temple with one hundred priests, and one day the chief priest dreamt that the Divine Guest was to come that night - the Divine Guest for whom they had been waiting and waiting. For centuries the temple had been waiting for the King to come, the Divine King to come. The deity of the temple was to come! But the chief priest was in doubt: "It may be just a dream. And if it is just a dream, then everyone will laugh. But who knows? - it may be true. It may be a true intimation."

The chief priest brooded that morning over whether to tell it to others or not. Then he became afraid. It may be time! So then, in the afternoon, he told it. He gathered all the priests, closed all the doors of the temple, and said to them, "Do not go out and do not tell anyone! It may be just a dream; no one knows. But I have dreamt it, and the dream was so real. In the dream, the deity, the King of this temple, said,'I am coming tonight. Be ready!' So we have to be alert. This night we cannot go to sleep."

So they decorated the whole temple; they cleaned the whole temple; they made every arrangement to receive the Guest. And then they waited. Then, by and by, doubts began to arise. Then someone said, "This is nonsense. This was just a dream, and we are wasting our sleep." Half the night passed, then more doubts began to arise. Then someone rebelled and said, "I am going to sleep. This is nonsense. The whole day is wasted, and Still we are waiting. No one is to come!" Then many supported him. Many laughed: "It is just a dream, so why pay so much attention to it!"

Then even the chief priest yielded and said, "It may have been just a dream. How can I say that it was real? We may be just stupid, foolish, just following a dream." So they said, "Only one person should wait at the gate and all the rest can go to sleep. If someone comes he will inform us."

Ninety-nine priests went to sleep, and the only priest who was appointed said, "When ninety-nine think that this is just a dream, why should I waste my sleep? And if the Divine Guest is to come, let him come. He will come in a great chariot, so there will be much noise and everyone will be awakened."

He closed the doors, then he also fell asleep. Then the chariot came and the wheels of the chariot created much noise. Then someone who had been asleep said, "It seems the King is coming. It seems the wheels of the chariot are making much noise." Someone else who was just going to sleep said, "Do not waste time; no one is coming. This is not the chariot. These are just clouds in the sky." 

And then the Guest came and knocked at the door. Someone again said, in his sleep, "It seems someone has come and is knocking at the door." So the chief priest himself said, "Now go to sleep. Do not go on disturbing again and again. No one is knocking at the door. It is just the wind."

In the morning they were weeping and crying because the chariot had come in the night. There were marks on the street and the Divine Guest had come up to the door and knocked. There were footmarks on the dust, on the steps.

There are many parables. Buddha and Mahavir have told many stories with only one essential idea - that Enlightenment is at any time, at any moment, possible. It can happen any moment. One has to be alert and conscious and aware. This parable of "The King of the Night" is not just a parable. It is real. We all are interpreting things in that way, and all our interpretations are just rationalizations of our sleep and for our sleep. We say, "It is nothing but the wind, it is nothing but the clouds." Then we can sleep at ease. We go on denying religion, we go on denying anything that will break our sleep. We rationalize that there is no God, that there is no religion, that there is nothing - nothing but wind, nothing but clouds. Then we can sleep at ease, comfortably.

If there is a God, if there is Divinity, if there is a possibility of something higher than we are, then we cannot sleep so conveniently. Then we will have to be alert and awake and struggling, making efforts and endeavouring. Then transformation becomes our immediate concern.

Awareness is the technique for centering oneself, for achieving the inner fire. It is there hidden; it can be discovered. And once it is discovered, then only are we capable of entering the temple - not before, never before.

But we can deceive ourselves by symbols. Symbols are to show deeper realities to us, but we can use them as deceptions. We can burn an outer incense, we can worship with outer things, and then we feel at ease that we have done something. We can feel ourselves religious without becoming religious at all. That is what is happening; that is what the earth has become. Everyone thinks they are religious just because they are following outer symbols, with no inner fire.

Make efforts even if you are a failure. You will be in the beginning. You will fail again and again, but even your failure will help. When you fail to be aware for a single moment, you feel for the first time how unconscious you are.

Walk down the street, and you cannot walk a few steps without becoming unconscious. Again and again you forget yourself. You begin to read a signboard, and you forget yourself. Someone passes, you look at him, then you forget yourself.

Your failures will be helpful. They can show you how unconscious you are. And even if you can become aware that you are unconscious, you have gained a certain awareness.

If a madman becomes aware that he is mad, he is on the path toward sanity.