Re: Living With Schizo Mom Has Made Me Severely Depressed

I've been depressed for 51 years (basically an identity crisis from childhood family, my family ostracized me). I understand Depression type behavior (not having a good view of the world [for good reason]), so I will not make a big deal of the way you speak (white trash, skankos), but I will point out a principle that makes a big difference in mood/attitude SUBCONSCIOUSLY. Our attitudes towards other people determines our self-esteem. That means that if we are unjust or unfair in our opinions about other people, then we will condemn ourselves as unjust. We shouldn't be judgemental OF PEOPLE in the first place, because usually, we are judging them for what is ONLY their business. Other reasons not to be judgemental are that the intention is to be condescending, but also controlling (control freak, not only unjust, but a PRETTY BIG RESPONSIBILITY). If we can't think (and actually believe) of ourselves as a righteous person, then we will have low self-esteem. I call it 'Vicarious Condemnation'.

But it's also that you are a good person, my friend (I know, I've read about you being happy). You don't understand or control your anger, you let it run wild so that you lose respect for the world (white trash, skankos). How can you enjoy a world that you choose to disrespect? Discipline yourself in your attitude towards others and you will notice that your self-esteem will let you be who you really are (that's why I had an "identity crisis"). I believe that everybody suffers stress and can get 'burnt out' (drained, worn down/out), but only the CONSCIENTIOUS will be effected so much as to get depressed. There is more of a person in you than you realize, get to know yourself.

Concerning your mother, if you moved away, would she or somebody else be able to care for her? You have to consider this because leaving your mother without proper care can bother your conscience for life if something happens. Your cousins might be willing to check in on her once in a while and a local hospital might have a program to visit every so often.

Do not drink diet sodas or eat diet foods that have artificial sweeteners. Aspartame is what makes diet sodas "DIET", but other sweeteners that are artificial are dangerous BRAIN chemicals (even found in BABY FORMULA). These ingredients aren't always listed, and not the only ones to watch out for MSG, phenylketoneurics, nutra sweet, sucralose, etc.

Some symptoms you mention, like "inability to talk" might be severe dehydration. Every day, drink 1 ounce of water for every 2 pounds of your body weight (200 pounds,...100 ounces throughout the day). I used to cherish crying (when I was able to), it allowed me to acknowledge SELF/identity. It would be easy to think I'm being melodramatic, but I think the subconscious SELF is CRYING out for recognition (you are neglecting SELF). Go ahead, tell me I'm wrong. IT'S TRUE.


Look up Aspartame on one of the sites listed here.
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