Help!Really depressed!

I have suffered Depression for a very long time and antidepressants don't work. Doctors did nothing so referred myself for Cbt. I have had a lot of sickness from work in the last 12 months or so and was referred to a doctor at occupational health. They both agree I may be suffering with a mood disorder so am now being assessed by my local mental health team. They need to see me over six weeks to see if my mood changes before a diagnosis can be made. What if they don't see these changes? I'm scared they will dismiss me, as I know I need help! My mood is very depressed where I can barely function at times, hence sickness at work, and the next I can feel hyperactive, talk lots and feel more productive and spend money, but that not so often. My mood can change within hours and I'm very irritable and angry which is not me, although I’m not sure who I am anymore? I know I need help, as I can't cope with anything anymore and get so stressed. Just need advise please and do you think I will get a proper diagnosis so I can begin getting my life back and feel normal again? I have actually had thoughts about harming myself and even looked up ways to end it, which I have not had in the past.... to this degree anyway and it scares me. I don't even know what I'm asking you for, just need to vent I guess and speak to like minded people.

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