Please please please keep hanging in there! Sadly it is hard enough to get good treatment for these things, but I hate hearing about the psych history as this basically adds another layer of difficulty in getting docs to listen to you, which is ridiculously unfair. It would take some luck to find the right dr who is compassionate and open-minded to work with you.
Maybe figuring out a sensible treatment plan and sticking to it for a while would be good. That way you can feel like you are doing something about this thing. Feeling powerless and overwhelmed is the worst, but maybe if you figure out a treatment plan to follow for a while that will give you something positive to focus on? Are you eating a pretty "clean" diet? that could be another thing to focus on that helps you feel like you are doing something positive.
Keep on keeping on, thoughts and prayers your way. Don't give up!
As effed up as these things are the human body is a powerful and resilient thing and hopefully with the right treatments your body will crush this thing.