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Change it


You've had some excellent suggestions and encouragement.  Now, take it a step further.

Using real paper and a real writing instrument, divide your paper into 2 columns.  Column A, and Column B.  In Column A, write down all of the things that you don't have control over:  weather, boss's attitude, world hunger, etc.  In Column B, write down those things that you do have absolute control over.  The reason to use real paper and pen/pencil rather than a technological device is that this excercise makes your thoughts real.  It's a tactile excercise in that you touch the materials to form the words, and you are directly connected with what you're expressing.

There is nothing  more frightening than facing homelessness, poverty, and all that goes with it - been there, bought the t-shirt, and hated the trip.  But, it may help to take note of several things.  You didn't wake up to find your name in the obituaries - you have been given one more day to realize your potential and, perhaps, help your fellow human beings, regardless of your personal situation.  You were not born into the type of poverty that people in India are - Calcutta is a sea (literally hundreds of thousands) of human souls who don't earn more than $200 per year, suffer incredible hardships, and still have the grace and human dignity to be grateful for every new day.  You have the opportunity to change your path, at any time, simply by altering your understanding of where you fit into this world as a human being. 

We have control over only one thing:  ourselves.  We can either choose to be a victim, or strive to become a Survivor.  To become a Survivor, boundaries are required:  NOBODY needs to know your history, your financial issues, or your current housing status.  As pointed out in the posts above, information is fuel and ammunition for anyone (including a partner or family member) to exploit.  You are not the sum total of Life's bad experiences.  Quite the contrary.  Life's "bad" experiences are lessons:  live within our financial means; humble ourselves and recognize that not one of us is impervious to Life's unknowns; extend ourselves to help our fellow human beings even when we, ourselves, are facing down the fears of homelessness and poverty; construct boundaries of personal privacy to protect our own dignity; take each day as another chance to choose a better path for ourselves.  It doesn't seem that easy, but I assure you that it is.  My change in attitude will not produce a better paying job for me, or nullify the ill will of others.  But, this attitude adjustment will soothe my soul and help me to stay humble.  Constructing boundaries won't pay my mortgage, but it will keep people with malicious intent at bay, and teach me to keep my mouth shut when people are digging to deeply into my personal history. 

This, too, shall pass - this is only temporary.  Yes, it's scary and it's frightening.  But, take that fear and angst, put it into perspective, and be joyous!  Today is one more chance to change your path!

Best wishes to you.

 

 
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