Re: Blanch says...Re: is this normal??? quick question about charcoal poultice ..

ok Uny thanks a bunch ..take your time cause I am not going anywheres .
I know you are really busy too

ok bout selling some things off ..well I really dont have anything of real value.I dont wear jewelry much so what I have got is not real .haha .but I do have a cc that I can use if neccessary .I love my inversion table and wanna use it again but I have gotta get my hiatel hernia calmed down .. ok about the juicer . I will look into that asap .
I have already talked to Dh and he says he just wants me better .he said we will make it somehow .I have also said my prayers too cause anything is possible with GOD ..

yeah you know I would do it for my kids "wink"

I will do what it takes to get the stuff I need if I have to borrow the money
I am looking at this as an investment ,so I will be able to come outta this healed and able to hold down a regular job one day and not keep spiraling downward into a never ending hole ..
I am terrified but excited at the same time to the point of tears and the thoughts of being normal again
thank you so much for helping me ,
some things you gotta know first

< I am scared to death of these reactions so please have patience with me
I am very moody at times and depressed to the point I dont even wanna get outta bed with other times I am way too hyper to the point of anxiety that I cannot sit still
I am ocd at times of heightened anxiety and tend to overdramatize the situation at hand cause anxiety makes it everything worse for me >


This is not me at all ... I want to be normal again

I used to be a carefree person who did not worry bout anything ,wasnt OCD or overdramatize anything ,was patient .wasnt scared of anything .was a great worker ,had energy .didnt suffer Depression or anxiety,I also didnt make excuses for my behavior .I want my old brain and body back ...I wanna lose weight and get healthy . I wanna be able to focus on the task at hand without panic setting in and destroying my goals ..I wanna be able to help others too . I wanna be able to start something and actually finish it !
I thought at 18 months off I would be normal again but its not happened yet ..I NEED NORMAL!

UNY you know I can do it if I can come off the benzos and stay off ..It will be hard but doable ..and anything worth while deserves some effort ...

just get back at me when you can

and thank you ,thank you,thank you ..

Anne_33 Tweet