Re: 13 Hours Till DAY FOUR

Yeah, thank you for the part about fear being part of my detox. you bet it is. It's so simple as to be physical. Anxiety is a neurological condition and the state of the colon affects so hugely the state of the brain and central nervous system so of course my intestinal toxicity wreaks havoc on my brain. I have had anxiety all my life and food-toxicity all my life and only now am I making the tiniest dent in it. ... I really have to concentrate on getting myself willing to really be disciplined and eat VERY LITTLE following the fast so I don't get toxic and hurt all over again. ha! i have zero willingness to do that. i don't really mean that -- I will follow certain necessary food rules -- but oh how can i ever get so that i really eat small enough quantities so as not to hurt myself....?? it is so frustrating. i know what TO do and have no ability to do it or limited ability. Please respect this necessity for me. Please do not write saying I do not need to have the discipline I know I need to have. i am actually NOT perfect as I am. I need support to get really positive and really make the breakthrough into food-sobriety, which is to push away the food in all cases where I feel the slightest discomfort, emotional or physical, around eating it. Only in this way can I really rebuild trust between myself and my body. i need to respect my body radically. ... Please don't comment on this as it is very fragile for me... please. I am trying to work myself into the willingness for food-sobriety. i mean that my body will be able to handle very little and I just really have to respect that so much. i can hardly wait to do a succession of fasts (how ironic given I am SO MISERABLE in this one. but they may get easier).. and really get strong and healthy for the first time in my life. my goal right now? I want to be able to run a little bit and jump. Or maybe I should have as a goal: being positive enough to eat very very little so as not to re-intoxicate myself, since I know that will be necessary. Powerray