I know exactly how you feel. I was doing a Water Fast and I had recurring memories. It was awful and I too became extremely suicidal. I talked it out with a mod on the fasting forum and he helped me see that is was a phase and it would pass. Indeed it did pass but it took awhile. The memories never all came out because of my failed Water Fast but I know they need too. They told me that I need to handle the past but quite frankly I think my mind was telling me no way.