Don't lose hope. I've been where you are and I can totally relate. There was a time when I thought I was right bakc where I started from but I think it was a second crash. Some people have had more than one. It takes time and it WILL get better I promise. Do you journal. I have a girlfriend that when I thought I was doign worse, she would remind me of times when I was way worse off and tell me that SHE could tell I was better even if I couldn't and that helped me a lot. It's hard to remember that when you feel like crap. :/