This may sound way too philosophical, but the first step and to me the most important step is to realize that this is a journey and not a destination and that each journey is unique, so there is no "map".
We all find our way and it isn't at all like we thought it would be. It is not a checklist of things to check off, as it is to figure out ourselves and how to heal ourselves.
That being said, you are getting great advice above :) Good Luck!