Day 8 of Water fast

I made it through, but I was having a hard time with it. I went over to K's house last night but before I came over he asked me if his mother should cook for me as well as everyone else. I said no, but that was very thoughtful of him and sweet of her.

I got there and he wasn't feeling very well. He had a bad toothache and we had to go get some rum to help kill the nerve and help with the infection. It was hard because I hated to see him grimce like that. He was suppose to teach me how to play Risk, but he wasn't feeling up to it. We sat and talked with his parents, played with his son (who was doing my hair with a comb to make me look more like a girl because I had ugly hair!) I normally wear my hair up when I am around, but my hair clip broke so I wore it down like K likes it and I got that reaction. I was a bit surprized by his comment and tried not to take it to heart, but it did make me wonder. We also sat in our favorite Christian Chat room listening to the banter of our friends that both know us.

It was funny because I wasn't really in the room, because he was in under his name. Someone said "Hello Shiloh" and everyone said Shiloh, where? Everyone said they didn't see me, but K. said I do to me and then he typed in into the room, twice. No one said anything or got it. Our closest friends know we broke up so, it is possible they didn't say anything regarding this comment due to that. It was just lovely to be sharing the wonderful things of God with him. I prayed for him last night as he was hurting and I was hoping that I wasn't causing more problems regarding wanting his exwife back.

I felt a little bit dizzy, so I was just taking it easy and he wented into the other room. I heard popcorn poping and I went in and said "you are popping popcorn." He just said "Yes, and you will eat it." I said "I will?" He smiled at me " Yes, I know you, you will." I could help but smile because he knows I like popcorn when we watch movies together or just wanting a good tv show. He hugged me as it was popcorn, but I was worried how I was going to get out of this one. I was suprized that he started eating some since he had a toothache. He said he was hungry and ate about a quarter of the bag and then handed it to me. I just let it sit in my lap when I directed my attention to our Christian chat room. Soon it was forgotten and I didn't have to chance puting a piece in my mouth to please him.

I won the battle that I thought I was going to lose because of his concern that I passed up popcorn. He has never seen me do that!

I drank about 50 ozs of water, and I am not using the rest room more like I was at the begining of my fast, which means that my body is using the water to rehydrate my body. My skin feels soft and clean, minus a couple blemishes. I did some body brushing today and it felt really good to stimulate my skin on my arms, legs, shoulders, hips,neck and back.

I haven't noticed much of a change. My fingers are thinner because my rings are a bit larger now that I had to switch them to a different finger so I could wear them. My shoes feel a bit more roomer as well. I haven't noticed anything else. I do know that I have lost about 7 lbs, but I do know about all of that is just what I was carrying when I was eating food and it was sitting in my body.

My mind seems to be clearer and if I do get emotional it is very intense, so I try not to get myself work up because I end up gagging.

I am still hanging on and praying and reading my Bible. The turmoil of my heart is getting easier to deal with, I guess it is because I still get to see K. and his lovely 3 year old son, the difference is we are just not longer a couple and I dont' have a future with him as I would like. I will cherish what I have and hope God's will is to bless what we have together in His sight.

I was moved the other day regarding my pain and looking at what I USED to have and God showed me Luke 9:62

Jesus replied, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God."

A section in my Bible explained that in acient times, a farmer never looked back when he was plowing because he would take his weight and eye off the plow and cause it not to plow in a straight line. Jesus knew this and shared this with those who listened to him. I realized I am so upset with looked back at the relationship I had with K, because it was so wonderful for me, that I am not watching where I am walking and I am weaving all around and wondering why. I feel lost. I realize I feel lost because I am not looking straight and how can I know God's will and further His Kingdom if I am not keeping my eyes on Him? I can't. So it has been a bit easier for me not to look back and just move forward.

I am moving forward with God beside me, no matter how I would rather change what has happened. Above all, I have to have faith and trust in God.

"God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, Even though the earth be removed, And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea" Psalm 46:1-2

God bless