she passed away tonight after a remarkable recovery- rest in peace Lady.

Hi- well Lady (that was her name) was doing very good until tonight, she was getting better every day. Infact a week ago we took her to the vet for another test and her liver levels were much lower, the BUN reading was 167 before, (normal range is 7-25) and last week it was much lower- it was 47 I believe, and the vet was shocked to see how good her health was. Since we cut the PROIN her seizures went from once a day to once a week. Specially this past week- she has been getting literally better every day it seamed. For the first time in maybe 2 months she walked down the stairs by herself earlier this week (we didnt encourage it- she did on her own we still carried her outside) and today we set up the Christmas tree and she was so excited- she loved Christmas, and she walked down the stairs and to our amazment she was able to carry herself back up them too).

Tonight maybe arround 10 pm I took her outside and brought her back in, went back to work and at arround 10:30 pm I got the call I was fearing- my mom was sobbing on the other end of the phone and told me to rush home- 3 minutes later I was there and everyone was crying- my mom said Lady did 2 big yelps she said it almost sounded like a human- then my dad went to pick her up because she started having a seizure and she had stopped breathing. He said he tried mouth to mouth but she didnt wake up. I got there and I couldn’t stop petting her- but I knew she was gone when her mouth / toung were cold.

Thanks everyone for ur support- I honestly thought I was going to loose her the day I made my original post. Since then I have given her so much more attention and thanked God for giving me all this extra time with her. But she passed away tonight and grief isnt even close to how I feel. I just turned 25 and I have had her since I was a kid (well she is about 16 years old so since I was like 9) so shes like my baby sister.

Today I came home for lunch and I helped my mom take the Christmas boxes (filled with decorations ornaments, ect) and thats when Lady walked down stairs. After that I took her outside and put her on my bed and we took a nap together. I honestly dont know how im going to move on. I miss her so much.

We had like a special bond together- even in her old age soon as she saw me she got so happy. I remember when she was younger she was very wild (being a miniature pincher) and would often get loose. I was the only one who could catch her. Once I remember my dad took her outside late at night and she slipped off her leash and he ran into the house to get us to help find her. He said "she went this way" and pointed south. I instinctively knew she wasn’t there- I had a feeling to go north - so I followed my instinct and went north, where I found her. Considering it was so dark out- call it luck or call it fate- all I knew is I found her and she was safe. I was so paranoid after that, so I saved my birthday money and purchased a night scope (I was probably 12 or 13 back then) that way if she ever got lost in the night again we would have better chance of finding her. Even today, I don’t know why but I had my phone out and I took a video of her- I don’t know why but I just did it. I haven’t taken a video of her on my phone in maybe a year- but I just happened to do it today and little would I realize it’s the last one I would ever take.

I feel so empty now- I just cant believe it happened tonight. Sorry to run on with the stories- but I guess it is making me alittle happier but I just dont know what to do next. It makes me put my life in perspective sort of- but then the bad thoughts come- for example I am thinking to myself "I dont want another dog because no dog can ever replace her" then I think to myself "even if we got another dog the same thing will happen in another 13-16 years- the health will fail, and they will pass away and by then ill be around 40 (wow), and by then my parents will probably have health problems or developing health problems, and like Lady our dog, they will have there good days and bad days, then the enviable.

So depressing- makes me wonder what the point of life really is. I consider myself a smart person- my college major was biology, and my minor was psychology. Yet times like now I don’t even know what the point of living is. Part of me is scared of death, yet part of me cant wait for it to happen to myself. I am not saying im suicidal- just don’t know what the point of life is.

When I laid down or took a nap- if she was there it would just be so good. She was like a teddy bare- just knowing she was there helped me go to sleep. When ever she slept on my bed and she woke up, she also would have more energy it seamed- just cant believe shes really gone now. Last night I had a bad dream (not about her) but I don’t have bad dreams in general but last night I did and when I woke up boy was I happy. I just want to wake up- but I fear this isn’t a dream- nor is it a nightmare- its just life.

But once again everyone thanks for ur help- until tonight, she really made a big improvement since I made my original post about a month ago- and I just want to thank everyone for every bit they contributed. It meant a lot to me.