Re: that's nuts

That is waaaay off base. First, I NEVER ever said
my friend wanted her husband out of her hair. You
would never find me saying that because it is not
the truth of their relationship. They are very close,
and after decades, still madly in love. However,
my friend would never go camping and I love to camp.
I enjoy it enough, her husband has put a tent up
for me in our yard just so I can have a place to go
hang out, nap, read, and listen to the wind in the
trees. It was a perfect invitation that he and I go
camping when an occasion arose where it combined
a music festival, camping and travel. Obviously, YOU
do not trust yourself. I trust myself and that is
why women feel comfortable allowing their husbands
or boyfriends to have friendships with me. When I
was married, I never once cheated on my husband in
thought or deed. My BF enjoys the same loyalty. My
friend also has many many male friends since she is
in a business where she is constantly in contact with
them. Still, when one or the other is away, they are
constantly calling each other and cooing sweet some-
things on the phone. There is zero chance that either
of them would cheat on each other since they are so
happy together.

I live in one of my friend's homes and have for years.
Once a month or so, her husband comes and does maintenance
here. Never once has there ever been a single iota of
inappropriate behavior on either of our parts. Over the
years, the three of us have become closer and my friend
considers me as a sister. I would NEVER do anything to
betray either of them or our friendship.

I do feel sorry for you that you do not have this
kind of friendship and loyalty in your life. When
you learn to trust yourself and others, there is so
much potential for freedom and fun and love to be
found in your relationships.

This is not to say that I am insensitive to the
concerns at times of others. I am. One of my
other friends is also a man. He came over every
Friday for a year to teach my husband and I how
to use a computer, with his wife's blessing. For
his efforts we bought him lunch. Often my husband
had to go back to work so it would just be my friend
and I. Once we were eating at a favorite restaurant
and his brother-in-law happened to come in with a
group of his co-workers. He noticed us right away
but was not comfortable enough to speak. When we
had finished our meal, I made sure my friend took
me and introduced me to his brother-in-law so that
even though the brother-in-law may not have totally
understood, if rumors & whispers got back to his wife,
we both knew she would have a good laugh.

Another situation which highlights the trust I have
been fortunate to enjoy was that one of my best
friends from college married someone who loved to
climb mountains. She hated it and she also begged
me to go with him since she knew I loved to do that
also. The first year, she had to send me a ticket
to convince me to come. We had a blast and it thrilled
her that he was not alone and also having fun. A
couple of times a year, we would get together for a
few weeks and go climbing. When we both became parents,
I would take my daughter, and he would bring his son.
I no longer climb but the families are still close and
the better for the history and the memories of great
times together.

Once you learn to trust yourself, perhaps you will
attract trustworthy people around you. While there
are women & men who will betray you, there are also
many more who will not. I suppose I have been very
lucky and have reaped over and over the rewards of
loyalty and loving friendships.

I wish you success in achieving the trust in yourself
and others you seek.

best wishes,
Zoe

-_-

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