Re: help winning my love and best friend back

Maybe she's not confused at all, maybe--to coin a well-worn phrase--she wants to find out who she is and what she wants out of life. Be prepared for the possibility that she may decide that she doesn't want you in her life anymore. As for just being friends--can you live with that? Can you do that without trying to pressure her to be something more than a friend? If you can't do that--and that's what she wants--you will alienate her and push her further away. You need to do some serious soul-searching to decide if you can live with just being friends. Be honest with yourself--if you can't do it, then you need to break off contact with her.

Talk to her--ask her if she is just confused or does she want time to figure things out. Ask her if she sees you both as being more than friends. If she keeps saying "I don't know", tell her that you need more than that for an answer. Tell her that you don't want to be in limbo and by saying "I don't know" she's not being fair to you. If she keeps stonewalling, then, if I were you, I would take that to mean that she wants to move on with her life.

If she wants to move on, then give yourself time to grieve. How long will that take? I don't know--we're all different. However, if you find that you are unable to function and go about your day to day life, or if you are going about your life but are feeling miserable, then it is time to seek help. People think that when someone is depressed, s/he won't be able to function. However, some depressed people do function but are miserable--they are called "the walking wounded". I'm not saying that this will happen to you--just saying that you should watch for it if you both break up for good.

Once again, you're young--you, too, need time to figure out who you are and what you want from life. Move on with your life, too. As I said before, if you want to, tell her that if she decides to get back together to call you. Also let her know that if--after a long period of time--she wants to reunite, she should be prepared for the fact that you could well be the one who moved on.