Re: My Story...

Well I know for myself one of the other things that leads to being this sort of a victim is not being a manipulative person. We want to trust everyone because we are trustworthy ourselves, unfortunately that makes us easy marks. You have to accept that there are some crappy people out there who will pretend to be your friend. Learn to recognize when someone is truly your friend.
I have the same frog in hot water problem, I have avoided the obvious dangers but I can be sweet talked very easily.
As for your specific problems, you have to mourn what happened to you. you are probably experiencing post traumatic stress disorder. I was in a bad car accident a few years ago and when I had PTSD I went to a homeopath , but not specifically for that, anyway the remedy she gave me helped cure my anxiety.
What happened to you isn't going to stop affecting you immediately, the only way through this is to go through it. Don't stop yourself from experiencing your grief. go through it now so you don't have to carry it with you when you are 80.
Maybe you should take a semester off, it's not the end of the world. when we are young we are so impatient,but there is time.Talk therapy is like the way you described, a lot of negative stuff starts swirling around but you are also processing it and getting it rid of it at the same time. It's alot like de toxifiying your body from a poison. This board is full of people talking about how awful they feel once they started detoxing. But it doesn't last forever and they are replacing it with something good.So there is no avoiding it, that I can see.
your willingness to please probably shows itself in other areas of your life: look for those patterns.
So:
Nurture yourself
Grieve for what you have lost
Learn to trust your negative instincts about people
Better to be wary of a trustworthy person for a while than the opposite
Learn about PTSD and try a homeopath for anxiety
Limit your drinking and drug taking. (It might be fun but it's not helping at the moment. Believe it or not you can enjoy yourself w/o drinking. the problem is you might not enjoy your drunken friends as much)YOU do not have to be the life of the party. You do not have to make sure everyone else is having a good time.
Stay with talk therapy (but no drugs)
Look at some of the other boards here and see what you can do to get your body (which affects your thought patterns) in the best shape possible.
Be more selfish Tweet