Re: Wife's blackmail

Please heed what SoulfulSurvivor has written. My mother was verbally, emotionally, and at time physically abusive to my father and us kids. I can't stress enough that whatever happens, please do all you can to protect your kids. When you see your wife being abusive towards them, please find the strength to stand up to her and tell her "enough!" No, it won't be easy but it's far better than throwing your kids to the wolves. My father would not stand up to our mother when he witnessed her abusing us, but he would tell us to shut up and take all the abuse because when we fought back (figuratively speaking) she would yell at him later. In other words, he put his own well-being before ours.

If your wife refuses to go to counseling or goes but doesn't stick with it, then for the sake of your own well being and that of your kids, then it would be time to leave and take the kids. SoulfulSurvivor has given you wise counseling regarding documenting things and consulting with a lawyer.

I commend you for recognizing that things aren't good--to say the least!--and for wanting to do something about it. My father would tell me that he was going to leave my mother. He did but came back 5 months later saying that it was too expensive to divorce her! That's BS! No, divorce isn't cheap but sometimes it's the only good alternative.

Also, I would look inwardly to see if you are attracted to the same type of woman again and again. If so, then consider counseling for yourself to break this pattern. Before he was married to my mother, my father had a first wife who had the same personality. When my mother died, he married a woman with those same personality traits. In his case, he can't see that pattern. Talking to him about it, doesn't make a difference. The interesting thing? He talks about how much he misses my mother!

Please don't be like my father! If your wife won't get or stick to counseling, then get your kids out of that toxic situation. Tweet