I will have to make a decision soon

Hello,
I've just read the post of the person who had surgery for the inguinal surgery, and it frightened me a bit.

I have written here before about my BIG hiatal hernia at least that's what the diagnosis was. I know that some get acid reflux, and other symptoms from this, but my main symptom is throwing up. I rarely get heartburn or any other symptom.

So this week, when I saw my Primary Care Physician, he told me to keep a diary of when I eat, what I eat, what time I take 2 pills that have been prescribed to me (protonix and calamate). The calamate is a little tricky because there has to be a gap of 2 hours before dinner or after dinner/or other medications and I don't live the sort of life where I ate 3 square meals a day and I cannot predict that if I eat at 8 PM, and afterward I would take Calamate and have to wait 2 hour before I take my night medicines (klonopin and suboxone).

I know I have made a few mistakes in my eating. I feel like I have been living on Cereal in the AM because it is the only consistent thing that I have been having. And, the reason why I crave Ice Cream (Coffee) is because my mouth is SO dry and I have such a funny taste in my mouth, that the ice cream, in a way, makes me feel better. On occasion, I don't throw up. On occasion I do. That all depends on whether I have to bend over to pick something else. That includes getting in my car. I wear clothing that fits me well, not too tight, BUT, of course the waistline will get a little tighter when sitting down, or bending over or alot of things and then it triggers the throwing up.

Recently, I went to 3 Starbucks looking for some kind of pastry (non-chocolate) because it is food to avoid, and the best I could do was have a small chocolate chip cookee, and now I know why it is on the foods to avoid list! I could not believe it. I also have learned that I don't have to throw up everything. I had to bring my cat the vet and I was in the middle of throwing up, saw the time, and got upright, gargles and went. I finished later.

I believe that IF I ate better, ie. maybe the salad stuff that I bought, and the salmon patties that I had a few days ago, which I liked, and baked chicken is not bad (you can cook it in a bag these days) and apples seem to help and I have been going to acupuncture because someone at Borders claimed that after about 2 months of going and taking their herbs, his hernia stopped and never came back. So, I decided to give it a try as well.

I have been living with this for many months. I remember having a very bad flu, and at first, I thought it was the aftermath of the flu and then that would go away, but it didn't. Finally, I took many tests including the endoscopy which supposedly showed the large hiatal hernia. The GI doc said it could be fixed, but he said as a last resort.

I'd rather not live this way, of course. I believe I can change my diet, but don't want to fear triggering the symptoms by bending a certain way. I'm not overweight, but I would like to get back to my size 8, which is about 25 lbs. And with all this throwing up, and eating so little when I do, I do not understand why I haven'ts lost a pound. I don't way myself, but I can tell the way my clothes fit. My stomach seems to be bloated (could that be a symptom of the hernia?) along with my waist.

So, in a way, an operation may be the answer but I'm afraid of pain management. Awhile ago, I got addicted to vicodin for severe pain after a car accident and hurt my back. I could not sit down on one side for 2 years. I almost had an operation then as well, but in my research, I read that in time, this kind of injury recedes and stop hitting on the nerve. In my case, I was lucky and after 2 years, it did. The physical pain stopped but emotional problems persisted and I wound up continuing the pain medication long after. After many relapses, I came across this Dr. in a hospital who prescribes something that was approved by the FDA. It's called suboxone. You just put a small amount under your tongue, and it prevents craving any opiates. I have not had any pain medication for 3 years. It has helped me enormously. The problem is, in pain management, at least that what I was told. Duringn the operation, you can get around it, but pain medication after the operation won't work unless there is no suboxone in your system, and that could be a long process. So, that enters in my decision as well.

Also, operations are no guarantee. I just want to go back to my old self and I stayed away from fatty foods anyway, didn't eat junk food, don't smoke, don't drink, so I wonder why this disease occured with me. I want to hear feedback from people on whether they think I should have the operation or n ot. Or maybe I should give myself more time to get on a more normal diet !!!

I know this is long,, and I appreciate your listening.
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