Ok, I find that you are over-reacting harsh. If i was your boyfriend, i would feel so trapped and would burst one day. and say it's over. I am sorry but come on now. going to hooters for wings, is nothing compare to going to strip joints or club full of girls wearing short skirts with no undies. I mean, Hooters is a restaurant with blondies with short pants not skirts. LoL, i mean they might reveal some cleavage but nothing illegal. And let me tell you, I tell my girl that I am not going to lie and hurt her like her ex did to her. But I still do lie....not to hurt her, but lil lies that is best not to be said. It's not like he been cheating on you or talked to you about how girls always flirt with him and he wants to have open relationship. I wonder how old you are. probably under 22? Need to grow up a bit and realize that if you like someone or love someone, you need to trust the person inorder to have healthy relationship. and that's the only way he'll feel the same way about you. If you think going to hooters is bad, then I don't know what to say.

Hi!

First, you ARE good enough for someone very special -- please start believing that about yourself - hopefully that will be your boyfriend because it sounds like you care about him very much!

Personally I abhore lying in any form, big, little, it's all still a lie, and have told my present SO that if he lies to me that I'm done with the relationship - I also hate it when guys hide things to try to protect me so they can have their sly little fun. I also wouldn't like it if my guy went to Hooters on the sly. Believe it or not, I'd rather have him come right out and tell me, and I'd probably want to go, too, so I can see what the big (no pun intented) attraction is (this reminds me of the Terry Clark song 'Girls Lie Too' in which she says something like 'we [girls] go to Hooters for the chicken wings, too').

I've just taken the stance that life is too short and if a guy doesn't want to play within the no lie zone and no watching other women zone (no porn, strip clubs, Hooters, watching other women when I'm around) then I'm moving on, because there are decent guys that don't NEED to do that nonsense. And if I wouldn't be able to find that decent guy right away, at least I don't have to put up with the other nonsense.

We had a thread about this type of thing below (lying, watching other women, etc.), and the guys and ladies definitely disagree. However, I recently read a guys' magazine that told the guys NOT to do this because it does hurt their ladies and the relationships with them, big time.

I think if your guy cares about you very much and you explain what you said above to him again (I've found that sometimes guys need to hear things a few times), then he should understand and help you to get over your insecurities. Remember, you ARE good enough!!!!

A word about insecurities. There are some people that are insecure and no matter how much 'security, trust, honesty etc, they have in their lives...they are STILL INSECURE. There are other people, that because of past hurts and pains have LEARNED to be insecure.. hence, when they do find people that are honest, direct,etc. they recapture their security and it is no longer an issue for them. I don't know which kind of person you are.. but it is important.

If your insecure because of the past, yes, it would definately seem that he is tapping your issues and may not be the best person in the world for you.. hence, like suggested here, you may need to find someone that will not feed your insecurities with Their 'guy things', etc.

But5 if your insecurities are about you and is long standing, then it doesn't matter how 'clean, honest, direct etc. the person is because you will still be insecure and will evenually 'drive him crazy' and end up trying to control EVERYTHING in his life.. and he may resort to 'deception' just to prevent having to deal with your insatiable insecurities. Obviously in this case, your insecurities will be a liability in all of your relationships in the future..regardless of who it is or how 'honest' he is.

Bottom line, you are responsible for your insecurities. If you chose to be with a person that has a need to 'play games' with subtle lies and deceptions.... that would not be good and is ANOTHER bad choice on your part.(again, you are responsible for staying with a destructive partner) If, on the other hand, your insecurities are just a part of you, then some professional help will be necessary to prevent being destructive or bringng this liability into a potentially new and positive relationship.. EITHER WAY. You are responslbe for what you do about it. (your insecurities) Either find someone healthier and who doesn't have the need to 'deceive' you.. or deal with your insecurities so as not to be destructive in this or a future relationship.. YOUR CHOICE. Good Luck !

But more importantly...you've got a guy there who lies to you. Dump him. You deserve better. I wouldn't tolerate a woman who lies. Out the door. Instead of settling for losers who don't give you a reason to trust, you continually snuggle up to the next schmuck who walks your way. Life looks bleak when you continually align yourself with C- guys. Liars aren't worth dating. Once you catch him a lie...DUMP HIM. This isn't a 12-step program to see how many guys you can catch cheating. Plenty of decent dudes out there if you just raise your standards. Is that asking to much of you? There's no magical potion that raises your self-esteem overnight. If you don't believe you're worth it, why should the Mtnn Mann? American women's #1 problem: Settling for losers. You've got plenty of company out there. Remedy: Date B to B+ guys with decent looks, personalities, and jobs...ALL THREE A MUST AT THE SAME TIME...and begin to see how the trust will slowly but surely return. Give the guy the benefit of the doubt, but if he deceives you...kick him right out of the bed onto the cold, hard floor of life!