Help has arrived and BOY ARE YOU ONE LUCKY LADY! Climaxes are my specialty, if I do say so myself. Now, before we begin...don't take anything I say as a personal insult...WE ALL CAN'T BE GOOD AT EVERYTHING! In this case, you and the hubby aren't well-versed in bedroom etiquette, well, at least not yet. One of the downsides to never having sex before marriage is that you enter the marital bed as rookies. Rookies don't know anything. And thus, having a learning curve that rivals the Harvard entrance exam! When both partners haven't had it that makes it doubly difficult because one cannot teach the other. Orgasms just don't happen...they are develped by technique. Don't feel alone, lots of married and singles can't find that elusive pleasure. If you were never taught, how on earth would you ever learn? That's the pros of a little action before marriage...I know you're pure and virginal and all that (trust me on this, I'm a Christian guy who talks bluntly as anyone you'll ever meet about this topic). I realize I'm a hypocrite when I advocate some hands-on before marriage but it's only because I benefited greatly, my wife receives the benefit, and I hear tons of complaints from wives and girlfriends about their men searching for the clitoris! Welcome to the real world...sex is important. When you treat sex as a marital option and not a primary, you get "3 minute ejaculations" and "what's an orgasm feel like". Hey, remember our little agreement about not taking it too personally? Ok, now. Back to the lesson plan. Your husband needs to last longer. No doubt about it. The longer he penetrates your vagina (and hopefully rubs your clit at the same time) the better sex you will feel. If he explodes after a referee's timeout and you're still spread eagle waiting for more...that's not going to sit well, now, is it? He needs to be able to "hold off" ejaculating for at least 10-15 minutes MINIMUM. Since he's a rookie, he'll have to practice the art of restraint inside your loins. It's a talent. You just don't wake up and all of a sudden be able to bump and grind your honey into another world and blow when you're good and ready. Next, you and he need to find your clitoris and study it well. It's there, believe me. Many women go to the moon with vaginal penetration, BUT ALMOST ALL GO WITH CLITORAL STIMULATION. That's the treasure. That's the jackpot spot. Your other questions will all fall into place once both of you examine and experiment with your mother of pearl. The positions and the playing with yourself in the tub...all in due time. You've got some catching up to do so get on with the homework and I'll expect a full report Monday after a weekend of exploration. Class dismissed.

Hi, I too have a similar backround and commend you for waiting, you will be blessed because of it. We also had a rough start. Read alot, but realize you and your husband are unique and what "WORKS" for some may or may not work for you. Do this as an activity together, discover what works for you and for him together, experiment, do not be afraid to fail, or embarassed to try things which might sound silly. I disagree with mountain dew on the male stamina issue, this is up to you, some women like more vaginal stimulation, I do not, I am very sensitive in the vaginal area and less is more for me,remember the act of intercorse is not all there is to sex :) But, if this is important to you, then lovingly and patiently encourage your husband as he practices his control. If you want to experiment with masturbation, why not do it together instead of alone? Remember you waited for sex for that special relationship, so why not keep it in the realtionship? Being married 17 years now, I can tell you that you both have alot of growing and changing in the future in all areas of marriage and sex is the same, it will change and evolve as your whole relationship does. I wish you the best.
Anna

I waited until marrage too, and here are some of the things I've learned.

For men to last they need to figure out their "just about there" moment and then find away to hold off. Some do this with a mental picture others use breathing. I don't know what works, but I do know that it is possible! My hubby can last 30 minutes with his "way" (don't know a good word for it!!).

Yes women can orgasim with sexual intercourse. And they can orgasim more than once. Alot of that depends on slow foreplay. It's okay to feel, touch, rub, and if you want to taste. I have found that it helps to concentrate on what you are physically feeling. Concentrate on what the feel of his hands on you does to you. Think about how touching him makes you feel. Beleive it or not, just thinking of how your body is responding is a real turn on!

Now the clitoris is the main center for the orgasim. It is as sensative as the guy's. Just like men, the stimulation brings extra blood to the area and that hieghtens sensations. As that happens the clitoris, and surrounding area, become very sensative. So either you, or him, gently rubbing and messaging the area will start this happening. If you tense from embarassment concentrate on how your body is responding. That's how I got past the embarrassment myself.

As for masturbating, with different people that happens differently. I like my breasts touched and played with. Whether by me or him doesn't matter, I find that very erotic. So for me thats a starting point. When I started doing so in the presence of my husband, I had problems. Then I realized how much he liked seeing that. So, in my mind, I became a tease with the desire to drive him crazy with lust. Then, as my physical sensations increase, I move my hands lower to the more "private" areas. As I said in the last paragraph, the clitoris is very sensative. So that is an area to start with. Think about how you feel, and if a certain spot really gets you going, try to stimulate that spot. Then, when you feel braver, you can introduce that spot to your husband.

Now, with the advent of the internet, there are things you can get that will help things. They won't go across that fine christian line either, as long as it's just to enhance your intamacy with your husband. There is such a thing as a silicone cock ring that vibrates. The silicone is very soft and stretchy and the ring is worn at the base of the penis. There is a tiny vibrator, refered to as a bullet, in part of the silicone that is battery controlled. If the ring is worn with the extention pointing up the woman gets clitoral stimulation. It also turns your guy into an adult toy. My husband and I have done that. Not only does it feel fantastic for you, but the ring delays ejaculation for him as well! Shopping online means no embarrassing parking lots. If you want a lead to one, I will give it, as I know it is a good site. But only if asked, I don't want to step on toes.

I hope this helps some!

I think it is great that you waited for each other. My DH and I waited for each other (albeit before marriage 24 years ago) and we were each other's first. We have had lots of practice and learned alot thru the years. And it keeps getting better.
We both like to experiement. I highly suggest you learn to masturbate. It will teach you alot about your body. Toys are fun. Dildos are wonderful too. If you don't have one...a cucumber will do :-) No one will ever know except the neighborhood grocer.
If you DH gets too close to ejaculation, suggest he pull out and eat you a little. You both get intense pleasure and oral stimulation after vaginal pentetration is a great way to prolong the act. He hopefully is learning what that mouth is for and treats your privates to a long session. And vice versa I must say. Talk to each other. Tell each other what feels good. Need I say more??? Obviously a nice bath prior to the oral feast is in order. Get busy. As a the dew man says, let us know how the weekend goes.

Honey, I too waited until we were married. That was 12 years ago and now we have a wonderful time showing each other our love and deepest pleasure. I learned my body. I know every part as to where to touch, how to touch and how much to touch. My hubby has learned it too. We really enjoy of love making. Sometime, we just had oral pleasure and no penis vs vagina contact. I love giving him a good oral sucking as he does me. We both have learned all the pleasure zones and even enjoy anal from time to time.

I hope that you will soon learn your body and you both will become good at pleasing each other.

Take care , Karen

The Tao of Sexology by Dr. Stephen T. Chang.

I'm going by memory, but I believe his grandmother was a Master Physician for an Empress of China. Anyway this is the best book you will ever read about sex.

For example:
Nine Steps to Orgasm (works great!)
How to achieve 80% accuracy of determining the sex of your child during intercourse.
STD and health problems.
Mental and Spiritual bonding.
Million -Dollar Point (improves cllmax without depletion).
Many other tidbits you will learn.

I gave a copy of this book to my son when he was 21 years old. Young men learn about sex from pornography, not good, makes them lousy lovers.

Enjoy. This is the Bible of Sex.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0942196031/102-2702973-2488920?...

Dear Christian Wife,

I thought I'd respond and hope I can offer you some encouragement. I'm 45 (female) and have been married for almost 8 years; my husband and I are both committed Christians. By the way, I APPLAUD you for sticking to your guns and staying pure. You didn't MISS ANYTHING! There's nothing you can't start learning right now, regardless of your age. You did the right thing. Don't listen to those folks who say you should have experimented. Hog wash. You can begin right now - you and your husband together. Remember: "Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you."

Well, about your love life . . . do you realize that God invented sex? Yes, He put it on the map. And He intended for us to have pleasure in this area of our lives. My husband and I really enjoy making love, and we are open to various activities, providing that #1-they're not sin, and #2-we both agree.

You had many questions about your own female sexual response. Maybe I can help . . .

#1-Does a women have an cllmax from intercourse? I would venture to say that most women do not. Why? Because the clitoris is located in place above and removed from the vaginal entrance. So during intercourse, the penis doesn't come in contact with the clitoris . . . well . . . not directly. And it's direct clitoral stimulation that causes cllmax.

#2-What position can help? Here's what works most of the time for me. During intercourse, I have my husband move at more of a 90 degree angle so that the side of his penis can rub against the clitoral area. Also - I close my legs!!! This creates enough tension to cause me to have an cllmax. HOWEVER, before we get to this final stage, we spend quite a bit of time in foreplay. He rubs my clitoris with his finger and I guide him. Or he may perform oral sex on me. I also perform oral sex on him, but we usually stop before cllmax so that we can enjoy intercourse together. The point is, you will need much more constant stimulation than he will. You can also try various positions for intercourse and you can stimulate your own clitoris while he penetrates you. If he gets too close to cllmax - then stop. Carress each other and rub other areas. You can stop and go like this for an hour or two. In time you will learn to control all these things, and maximize your enjoyment, because afterall, God MADE our bodies to respond in these ways.

#3-As far as masturbation . . . it may be good for you to try this. You can do it with your husband present, or simply get his permission to try it on your own. The idea here is that you don't want to "wear yourself out" and not have any sexual interest left for him. But you do need to understand how cllmax works. How do you know when you've had one? You will know. You can't miss it. You'll rub that area, or have him rub it, and it will start to feel very, very good, and you'll lose your breath, and then you'll feel a burst - and a release - and a warmth - and finally a relaxation. No, you couldn't MISS one of those . . . you'll know.

Well, I agree that this stuff is VERY personal, and not easy to discuss. But as a married woman, you have a right to understand every part of your own sexual response. So just work on it, and trust that you and your husband will learn to give each other pleasure, just as God intended.

Hope this has helped . . .
(k)

I believe waiting was the best policy. I think whatever skill might be gained is more than offset by making sex more casual by having multiple lovers.

The largest sex organ is the one on your shoulders. Much intensity is in the mind. The inhibitions of adolescence need to be laid to rest.

Health is also important. Poor experiences can be stress related and also the first experiences can be anxious and thus stressful.

A glass of wine may be a good addition to foreplay.

I also think young men have more trouble in lasting, but less trouble with multiple acts. So less in one way but more in another.

Don't be afraid to enjoy each other.

Go forth and multiply :)

First I want to say how you and your husband got together is a wonderful and special thing. I'll try my best to help. The truth? Just about any man, if he's with a "ready" parnter and if he cares enough about the one he's with can give their signifigant other an orgasm. To be honest, with all the information out here on how to achieve it, there's no reason for women to have one, especially when there are so many different ways. In my opinion there are four keys to reaching orgasm together
1. Your Frame of Mind
2. His Frame of Mind
3. Floreplay
4. Getting Down

Your Frame of Mind - Basically your spouse needs to get you in the mood, and this starts before he even touches you. He needs to be romantic and do the things he did to catch your attention in the first place. Your mind has to reach that happy RELAXED state that is conducive to lustful yearning. Massage can be excellent for getting there. Oils, candles, romantic music and scents. Let him be creative. On your part, you need to see him as "sexy". What clothes does he where that turns you on? What scent? Can you bring up memories when he did something you considered sexy? Look at him twice and remember.

His Frame of Mind - The ladies might not like this one, but its true - A man needs to feel like he is king of the bed if he is going to give you orgasm. He needs that macho confidence, which will assist in him lasting longer and keeping him motivated on giving you pleasure. There are a few ways you can facilitate this. One of them is to let him know when he looks or does something sexy when you are not actually about to make love. He will remember this later on when it is time to do it, and he will have the motivation to stay "sexy" in your mind. You understand what I'm getting at?

Foreplay - He needs to know your body intimately. Everyone has different pleasure areas, and what turns you on, your erogoenous zones are different from everyone else, he needs to know them. Matter of fact, he should know them and know how to pleasure you without, to be blunt, putting it in. He needs to know how much pressure to put in certain areas, whether you like to be touched lightly, licked or sucked. He can learn this without you directly telling him, if he listens to your breath and your moans. If you really like something tell him that. He will remember and keep on doing it. I'm not going in detail here since the fun of orgasm is the unique way in which each of us gets there, but this is probably the single most important physical thing he can do for you to achieve nirvana.

Getting Down - Best thing I can tell you here is if you start off moving slow, I mean really slow..., you can learn a lot about each others...areas. It is an adventure, he needs to explore..and not rush until you are ready to be rushed. I believe the G-Spot is in the upper inner wall above the vagina "entrance". He needs to practice his aim

The bottom line - If he cares for you and he feels confident and sexy himself, he will find a way to make you happy. Over time you may even start to see your body and behavior change as your sexual side becomes heightened. But after saying all this, don't berate him for not doing it for you in the past, but see him as a willing partner in this mysterious, exciting, and mindknumbing adventure of physical intimacy.
Also, you said he can only list three minutes? Tell him to practice stopping his pee when he urinates. This will build his Kegel muscles. Also, he needs to build his stomach/pelvic muscles so he won't get tired from thrusting. Enjoy.

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with masturbating. In fact, it's good for you if it doesn't interfere with your normal life.
Many guys do not know how to bring a woman to an cllmax. This is THERAPY. You need to masturbate by yourself when your alone in a locked room any way you feel comfortable with porn, pictures, muscle mags, whatever..you will know when you cllmax...it's earth shaking. Once you find out what feels good, show him how you did it. Use plenty of lubricant. Masturbation is in no way "dirty".
It won't hurt you. Just about everybody does it sometime in their life, but usually won't admit it. Relax and go at it. Enjoy and pay attention to cleanliness of yourself and any devices you may use.
There is absolutely nothing to feel guilty about..a woman needs to be satisfied.