i have some severe mental problem and i don't know how to get better on my own i need help

Hello headcase,
I'm 51 years old and have grown up suicidally depressed. The Thanksgiving before last was celebrated alot like most other holidays in my life (alone), but this time I watched everybody on t.v. give thanks for everything in their life. They didn't seem sure of who they had to thank, but I decided to thank The Lord for all of creation and everything else I could think of, especially for the people (human race). Then, He asked me to tell Him all of the reasons that I'm thankful that I was born (I never did specifically thank Him for that, but He was just making a point for me to realize). Well, I couldn't come up with a reason to thank Him for being born. The Lord didn't chew me out, but expressed His disappointment that I am not happy and doesn't want me to come see Him without being thankful and happy on this earth, after all, He's done so much for us in order that we be happy (things are getting better).

Parents don't always do such a good, responsible job raising their children. There are a great many who do, but when the child turns out to be so dissatisfied with life that they want to end it all (suicide is not a solution to anything, it is the end of everything), not only did those parents shirk their God-given responsibility and God would have less than a kind word for them, but I personally, in defense of all the children of the world, would be tempted to make an example of those parents. Why do you care at all about how bummed out they would be? CARE ABOUT YOURSELF (that's the whole problem). I know that we should HONOR (GOOD honor) our mother and father. Not all parents are worthy of good honor, sometimes parents deserve nothing more than recognition and BAD honor for their "accomplishments". It is time that you start caring about yourself, that is a major reason for your depression,...you DON'T care about yourself.

Depression can be caused by the heartache of one single event, but that is usually only a cause of temporary (SHORT TERM) depression. LONG TERM Depression probably most always starts in childhood with a dysfunctional family. Family is very important because it is our introduction to the world and is how we learn to deal with life. We also establish our identity according to how well we are accepted into the family (a mini-society) and we learn to be a PART OF (identity) the family and also PART OF society. The more we establish (recognize) our own identity (unique 'SELF'), the more we (the unique SELF) can experience and enjoy life. So stop caring so much about your parents, and start caring about 'SELF'. I know it sounds bad (selfish), but SELF is never bad, it is only when 'self' is ABUSIVE that it is bad (remember God identified HimSELF as I AM? We are His offspring and wants us to relate to Him as a MINI 'I AM' (KNOW YOURSELF).

For this reason, most long term Depression would start from identity crisis, but there is also a nutritional element. The constant stress of depression inevitably causes depletion of minerals and malabsorption of proper nutrition. Protein, energy, minerals and enzymes will most likely be unbalanced and need supplementation, but proper digestion is probably the most damaging effect of stress and probably the simplest and most effective cure.

There is a painting called "The Scream" that depicts the reaction of the pure mind and innocent heart of natural man to this world of insanity. Some psychologists say that babies are driven insane by the age of two because the shock of an innocent new-born when realizing the world is not all "gentle and loving" is not always so subtle. There is alot of reason for disappointment in this world (especially if you desire a "better country" Hebrews 11:16) because God is a hard act to follow (this world is certainly no 'heaven', but we are to have joy in life and be happy). If you are a sensitive, caring and loving person (the way The Lord wants us to be), you will feel all of that disappointment and be 'low in spirits' like Lot (Genesis 18?) who was depressed (heart sorely vexed) because of all that went on around him. Because you are a Godly person you will "...let your laughter be turned to tears and your joy to..." (James 4:9).

In most circumstances, it is only the people with the strongest conscience and the purest heart who will get depressed, not the cold-hearted scoundrels of the world. Only those who love the ways of beauty and perfection will find disappointment in this world, and only those who believe that evil is illogical because it disrupts harmony can have 'The Heart of God'.

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven" Matthew 5:8.

Amen!

Just keep no attachment to the wave and you will be fine. We are on top of the wave sometimes and sometimes not. The key is to not be attached to the down cycles but also not the up ones either. This is the cycle we go through. If you hold on to the good you miss it all the more when it is gone. This way you pay more attention to what is before you and are mindful of all things.

A

I'm glad to hear that good news. I think that the world needs more of the kind of person who will get depressed, it would be a kinder place to live. We tend to be objective and sentimental (conscientious), not subjective and emotional (not overrun by emotion). Because of that objectivity and heartfelt sentiment (sorrow, etc.), we can understand more. We have a survivor's wisdom because we have endured pains and sorrows and now understand 'how the human heart cries'. You probably aren't ready to agree with me right now, but you will notice that some people will consider you an offense to their ego because of the peace and self-confidence you can exhibit and they will consider it a great accomplishment to make a fool out of you by choosing their words carefully in order to impose shame, guilt, humiliation and intimidation on you. Retain your humility, humility is the requirement of wisdom. You will find that there is much more to you than meets the eye (and other people will too). Don't live for your parents anymore, live for yourself. I know you love them, that is the character trait of depression,...true blue loyalty, heartfelt sentimental love and goodness, but you have to realize that they didn't take their responsibility serious enough. I gave up trying to make any sense of my family life (family is supposed to love you) or rationalize about my life with them and think that the best thing I can do for myself is...

IGNORE the past.

For the rest of my life (whoopee, huh?), there's alot of mother's days left for me to live through, so I might as well just let it go right now.