jboy7815,
If you've been using Xanax (or any benzodiazepine) for longer than 4-8 weeks, you can be experiencing what is known as 'tolerance withdrawal'...your symptoms are "spot on".
Doctors typically deny this can happen (basically because they don't understand it and can't admit they could be responsible for causing such a thing). But there are hundreds of thousands of people worldwide (and a handful of doctors) that DO know the truth.
In a very quick nutshell, here's basically how it happens. Benzos chemically stimulate our GABA receptors (which are responsible for 'calming everything' throughout our body). Once the GABA receptors have been chemically stimulated (think: electrically shocked into working) by benzodiazepines, their ability to 'calm' is lessened (the more/longer the benzos, the more the ability is lessened).
So we've developed a 'tolerance' to the drug, and in order to achieve a 'normal' level of calmness (throughout any/all system in the body) we must take more benzodizepine to chemically stimulate the GABA receptors. Basically we're in 'withdrawal'...hence the term "tolerance withdrawal" (even though one is still taking the drug, more is needed to produce the same effect because our GABA receptors have become tolerant). Most folks just call it "benzo hell" :(
Tolerance withdrawal is most likely to happen when one hasn't "upped their dosage" for a very long time, or when they're trying to cut their dosage...but it can happen at ANY time (especially when Xanax is the benzo being used).
Of all the benzodiazepines marketed, Xanax is the most likely to cause this, because Xanax has the shortest half-life (typically 6-10 hours). So in 6 hours (with some, even less), the last dose is gone, leaving the weakened GABA receptors unable to provide normal 'calming' throughout the body. The first thing a "benzo knowledgeable" physician will do for stabilization, is to switch to a benzo with a longer half life (for example Klonopin 18-50 hour half life, or Valium 20-100 hour half life) and then suggest a VERY SLOW taper and withdrawal). There's info/links below for information one can print off and take to their doctor to get a scriipt for a benzo with a longer half life...if that's what one decides to do).
If you think there's ANY possibility this is the situation, there is a great list of rescources online (taken from here: www.thebenzobook.com/) that's I've pasted below.
When you're 'going crazy' and would do ANYTHING to get out of your own body (including suicide), none of the symptoms "add up", no one can tell you what's happening (but it will not stop no matter what you do), and a benzodiazepine has been in the picture for longer than a few weeks...it's very possible that 'tolerance withdrawal' (and or typical side effects) are at the root of it.
There is one site I've found to be extremely helpful (great folks providing fantastic information and support) that isn't on the list below, it is here: benzowithdrawal.com/forum/index Also, The Benzo Book (link above) is FANTASTIC (and you can download a few chapters free).
This site has a complete nutriceutical line and VERY good instructions/support for assisting one through the process of withdrawal The Road Back. How to withdrawal off psychotropic medication.
And if you'd like a quick overview of how benzos have affected others, check out some of the pages of signature-notes on this petition: Benzodiazepine Awareness Network Petition
No matter what you're dealing with, your body DOES have the ability to restore itself and you CAN be yourself again! If it's the Xanax, then the information below is 'where you start' for learning how to stop your suffering (although tapering off and going through the withdrawal process is not a piece of cake, by any means...but it's MUCH easy once you've stabilized). If it's not the Xanax, then at least this info is here for someone else (and you'll know far more than what your doctor or the package insert disclosed about the Xanax you're taking).
Healthiest of blessings,
Unyquity (who is way behind on posts on my forum, so if you want/need more information from me, please post here Natural Healing & Herbal Solutions with Unyquity)
Resources:
The problem of benzo withdrawal is greatly increased because of the lack of understanding about it; the crucial component of understanding is information.
The single best benzo resource, on-line or off-, is Ray Nimmo’s site, benzo.org.uk. Virtually everything that is known on the subject of benzodiazepine dependency and recovery may be found there:
http://www.benzo.org.uk
The full text of Professor C. Heather Ashton’s seminal book, Benzodiazepines: How They Work and How To Withdraw, is available at benzo.org.uk, where it can be read on-line, downloaded, or printed from computer:
http://www.benzo.org.uk/manual/
Or, a bound hard copy may be purchased for a $15 donation:
http://www.benzo.org.uk/bzmono.htm
Prof. Ashton's paper, Reasons for a Diazepam (Valium) Taper, of great value in convincing doctors of the necessity of a slow taper, may be found at:
http://www.benzo.org.uk/ashvtaper.htm
Benzo mailing list and bulletin board groups on the Internet:
http://www.benzoisland.org
http://www.benzobuddies.org
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/benzo
http://www.bcnc.org.uk
Geraldine Burns' excellent site for learning non-drug methods of dealing with anxiety:
http://www.allaboutanxiety.net
On-line games, helpful for exercising the mind to overcome cognitive difficulties:
http://www.toadgames.com
http://www.jumble.com/play.html
Articles by Peter R. Breggin, M.D.:
Behavioral Effects of Benzodiazepines
Withdrawal Reactions from Benzodiazepines
Brain-Disabling Effects of Benzodiazepines
Excerpts from Toxic Psychiatry
Benzo resources on-line:
BenzoBusters
BCNC in the U.K.
TRANX in Australia
Benzo information
The Benzo Awareness Network
Killer Pill Research
Drug Abuse Help
Tranquilzers in the News
Addiction by Prescription
Benzodiazepine Withdrawal Syndrome
Protracted Benzodiazepine Withdrawal
The Truth about Tranquilizers