#79252 - Relationship LOA - Let's ge... 
Invincible
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Hi #79252
(ref, your post:
//www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1067144#i)
I thought I'd start a new thread so we can re-focus to what you have told me.
I'm going to look at both sides - the positive (your desires) and what seems to be/the negatives (what you don't want)
Until you practise your vibration, there will be a BIG gap between what you actually want and the vibration you are offering. Without exception, what is in your life this moment matches the vibration you are currently offering.
The 3 laws that we are concerned with are:
1. The Law of Attraction: "That which is like unto itself is drawn" This just means that all those vibrating in the same place meet together. So, if you are in a place of anger, you will see angry people and experience angry situations. In anger, one is unable to reach for joy because it is too vibrationally apart. In the same context, if you are in a place of joy, you will only attract joyful people and circumstances. Angry people do not come by you because they are not vibrating like you.
2. The Law of Deliberate Creation: "That which I give thought to and that which I believe or expect becomes my reality/point of attraction". What this means is that if you are not consciously creating your life, it runs by default. If your dominant focus is what you don't want or lack, you will get more of that. If you focus on what you want/desire and don't throw in contradictory thoughts, you will get more of that. Hence, the worse it gets, the worse it gets AND the better it gets the better it gets.
3. The Art of Allowing: "I am that which I am, and am willing to allow all others to be that which they are" You need to understand that no other person or circumstance can be a part of your experience unless you have invited them in(vibrationally). When that is clear, you become an allower. This will be a very important part of manifesting ... and we will cover this in more detail later on.
You must be clear about this point: The most important desire for you to always keep is the desire in seeking of joy for you. Just YOU. When you can hold the vibration of joy consistently, everything you have ever wanted can manifest.
OK ... I'm going to write more!! so wait for my nudge before responding.
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- Re: #79252 - Relationship LOA - Nega... Invincible
17 y
3,016
This is a reply to # 1,067,648From your post:
//www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1067144#i
"We are married and my husband has strong abandonment issues from childhood. ... his issues prevented us from having the kind of relationship we both really want. We were seperated because of that for almost a year and got back together for nine months, then since September took a break again after we had a serious talk about us which made him back away. Now it lokos we are back to having contact once again since just yesterday."
"Its basically all based on a lack of trust that I would always be there for him and never abandon him."
"I know now, that focusing on his issues and what I didnt like created only more of that."
"BTW he had tried to call me after three weeks since we had the talk in September but didn't leave any message and so I didn/t call him back. I was afraid he still would not be ready to make any changes and was just checking in to see me. He tried again a couple weeks after that, again no message."
..........
This has clearly been your dominant vibration for some time, hence the situation right now. You are quite right, in order to create a new reality, you can not be focussing on the lack of what you want.
Your fear of him not being ready to make changes only adds weight to it.
And we are not going to focus on his issues, we are going to focus on yours. We are only in control of our own vibration. You change your vibration from fear to joy and everyone else around you changes.
It will be impossible to switch off from the above thoughts (what seems like current reality) immediately, but slowly, you are going to begin to focus only on the positives, so that you can create a more attractive vibration for all that you want.
You are here to create the world around you that is of your choosing. At the same time allow him to create the world of his choosing. And while his current actions and choices do not hinder your choices, if you continue to pay attention to his choices, it does affect your world and your point of attraction.
So, in order to succeed with LOA, you need to be in selfish pursuit of your personal joy.
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- Re: #79252 - Relationship LOA - Posi... Invincible
17 y
3,034
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From your post:
//www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1067144#i
"We love each other dearly ........ I know he loves me dearly - we have been together for 11 years, married for six.
I want him to be more affectionate, open up/communicate more, be more generous and thoughtful, spend time with me going out together/doing things and live with me. Just have a normal, fullfilling relationship as a couple.
I also know that he is a very loving, caring man who loves me dearly and who has it all in him what it takes to be the perfect mate.
So, I have been focusing on the good memories I have of us together as well as picturing us the way I want us to be."
............
Look at each desire:
"I want him to be more affectionate"
"I want him to be more generous/thoughtful" etc. etc.
Now, note that the main reasons for you to think you can find happiness is based on his actions :-)
How can you be happy if it depends upon someone else's actions?
This is the time to find your own joy. You need to regain control of your own life experience, so your happiness does not depend upon his actions. It is in that mode, you will be of great influence.
- Re: #79252 - Relationship LOA - Pure... Invincible
17 y
3,070
This is a reply to # 1,067,648Let's look at Pure desire and what you truly want. This means to focus attention on what you do want and AT THE SAME TIME feeling positive emotion.
In order to create change, you have to see your husband as you want him to be rather than continuing to observe him as he is. So, disregard all things linked with what you do not want and ONLY focus on what you prefer.
If you continue to notice everything about him, then you include all those aspects, wanted and unwanted. That which you want, you get, that which you don't want, you get.
Instead, you only need to focus on the things that you love about him. Then you can get more of what you want.
As you have said, you have some very good memories of him and you also know he loves you. That's a great start. You also need to focus on your expectation that he will overcome all his past issues with ease. (Instead of focusing on why he is not able to do so!) and you will be moulding your thoughts to what you expect to achieve, just like the sculptor gets a lump of clay and moulds it into a masterpiece.
The real work is to to give so much thought on the postives/what you want to create, that it brings continued positive emotion. It is then you become a powerful magnet.
So, start practising daily the visualising technique here:
//www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=1066447#i
just bringing into your visualisations all the lovely aspects of your husband. Remain focused on how wonderful it feels when you think loving thoughts of him.
You must be selfish enough to care how YOU feel (forget anyone else for the time being) to direct your thoughts in such a way that you are connected to your inner self. Until you are able to do that, you have little to offer your husband. So make it your dominant intent:
"Today, no matter where I am going, no matter what I am doing, no matter what anyone else says to me, it is my dominant intent to feel good. I only look for what I want to see. Nothing is more important than I feel good"
How are we so far?- Re: #79252 - Relationship LOA - Pure... #79252
17 y
3,647
RR
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I understand that basically three things are of importance to create the relationship I desire and it all comes to that I only allow good feeling thoughts:
I need to focus only on positive things going on around me in general. The more things I see that feel good the better I feel and thus raising my vibrations and getting to a positive point of attraction of things I want in my life experience, including a fullfilling relationship. The most important thing is that I feel good.
I need to focus on the things I like about him and appreciate that which feels good. That way I will attract more of those. Like if I remember the time he brought me a thoughtful gift or called me just to hear my voice.
I need to visualize all things being already the way I want them to be (visual reality) which will raise my vibration and attraction point of making those a reality.- Yes, yes, perfect! n/m Invincible
17 y
2,894
- I got an RR - looks I'm learning pre... #79252 17 y 2,960
- Yes, yes, perfect! n/m Invincible
17 y
2,894
- Re: #79252 - Relationship LOA - Pure... #79252
17 y
3,647
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- Re: #79252 - Which Thoughts Feels B... Invincible
17 y
2,984
This is a reply to # 1,067,648Which thought feels better?
Read this exercise:
//www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=957234#i
This is something you can practise every time a negative thought appears:
Let's find one of yours and I will give you some examples of how to play with different thoughts.
Your dominant thought "his issues prevented us from having the kind of relationship we both really want. He hasn't phoned me"
Now, the job here is to find thoughts that *feel* better to you to offer you relief
•He doesn't communicate with me(worse)
•I want him to understand me (same)
•I should ignore him (worse)
•I don’t know what to do about this (worse)
•I need him to be more cooperative (worse)
•I want him to care about my feelings (same)
•He doesn't care about me(worse)
•I know he has a lot on his mind (better)
•Maybe he’s just having a bad day (better)
•There are so many positive things about him that I do like (better)
•I know he means well (better)
•Other couples have got over these problems and are now very happy (better)
•I know he loves me (better)
•And I love him! (better)
•I know it's going to work out!(better)
Now, focus ONLY on the thoughts that make you feel better.
Write out only the better feeling thoughts and focus on those for several minutes.
Do you feel the relief in that?
(This one is useful on a moment to moment basis. It helps to write it down. I often use this one on my teenage sons!)
- Re: #79252 - Which Thoughts Feels B... #79252
17 y
3,067
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"•I know he has a lot on his mind (better)
•Maybe he’s just having a bad day (better)
•There are so many positive things about him that I do like (better)
•I know he means well (better)
•Other couples have got over these problems and are now very happy (better)
•I know he loves me (better)
•And I love him! (better)
•I know it's going to work out!(better)"
YES these are great thoughts to use when a negative thought wants to creep in. It does feel GOOD to focus on these.
About this one:
"I know he will overcome his issues with ease"
Why doesnt mentioning his issues as being overcome with ease put the focus on issues? As in I will lose weight with ease?
EDIT: "With positive focus, his wellness is assured!" (from your reply below) :-)- Re: #79252 - Which Thoughts Feels B... Invincible
17 y
2,911
This is a reply to # 1,067,749Ha ha!! You are GOOD :-)
Yes, you are quite right, I could have tried to focus that more positively.
However, if your dominant thought is: "his issues prevented us from having the kind of relationship we both really want."
"I know he will overcome his issues with ease" is better :-)
You are no beginner at this. I admire how sharp you are! We can re-write that statement as:
"Love heals everything"
or
"With positive focus, his wellness is assured!" (I like that one)
So, what you can do in the next few weeks, is to listen out carefully to your most dominant negative thoughts. With each one of those, do this exercise and focus on the better feeling thoughts!
You are on your way!!
- Re: #79252 - Which Thoughts Feels B... Invincible
17 y
2,911
- Re: #79252 - Which Thoughts Feels B... #79252
17 y
3,067
- Re: #79252 - Wouldn't it be fantasti... Invincible
17 y
2,961
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Do this exercise when you're feeling good. If you're not feeling good, it's easy to think negatively and this process won't work.
This really helps you focus on what you do want. But it's just a game, so play it softly, with no expectations and have fun!
•Wouldn’t it be fantastic if X becomes more open and communicative
•Wouldn’t it be fantastic if X was more generous and thoughtful
•Wouldn’t it be fantastic if X wants to spend more time with me
Keep going. You can then take these good feelings into your visualisation.
Remember, you are not to expect change from him. That is not the goal. The goal is for you to feel good. You feel good, you raise your attraction power.
- Invincible #79252
17 y
3,046
This is a reply to # 1,067,689Invincible - I just logged on to find that you have made such an effort to repond and I will study it and get back to you in a little while. I just wanted to give you a big HUG for doing this right now :) Thanks so much!!
- Re: Invincible Invincible
17 y
2,997
This is a reply to # 1,067,722Big Hug to you too!
I enjoyed putting this together as an exercise. It helped clarify things for myself too. Hopefully it also helps others in pursuit of joy.
- Re: Invincible Invincible
17 y
2,997
- Should I call again? #79252
17 y
3,041
This is a reply to # 1,067,689Yes, this is an easy way to focus on what I want without taking a chance of thoughts of doubts based on old beliefs creeping in. When I play this I get really excited to see what will happen next. I noticed that before with other tihngs I have used it with. Positive expectayion without any resistance.
Right now, since I had left him that voicemail on Wednesday night, I like to use "wouldnt it be great if he calls me today?". I admit, that yesterday I had some seriously negative thought creeping in saying "why hasnt he called me yet?" I then did a meditation before going to sleep and this morning I felt great all day so far. Though one tihng enters my mind, and that is wondering if he indeed received that voicemail. Should I call him again so I get him in person? Im alittle stuck with this one :-)
Invincible - you are so wise and experienced with LOA - it is such a blessing to have met you hee. I think it is LOA at work that I got in contact with you and that you responded to my simple thank you reply with the offer to talk more about my desire of creating the ideal relationship I mentioned just on the side.
You are such a blessing :-)- You are your own expert :-) Invincible
17 y
3,409
R
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It was most definitely LOA that we are talking like this. I heard your silent asking and I responded. You were wanting this quite a lot and I was wanting to share. This is the vibrational match.
There's a saying "when the student is ready, the teacher appears". Now, it's more than likely you are the teacher. It works like that. You're teaching me to clarify my understanding of LOA!
You only need to focus on what feels good for you. If it feels good to make the call, do it ASAP.
This is an important point. There is no expert out there. You are your best expert. ALWAYS listen to how you are feeling. It is not important for me to say why you should or shouldn't phone. I can not feel what you feel. My perspective will always be different from yours.
Most people have set their own intuitive powers aside and replaced it with teachers, leaders, experts etc. The more you look to others for advice, the less you become your own wise counsel.
I am not here to teach you what feels good. You already know that. I am just guiding you to remember what you already know. If you didn't already know this, you would not be hearing this as the truth.
There are only 2 emotions, 1 feels bad and one feels good. So, follow what feels good and you are doing what is right for you in this moment.
My only suggestion, should you feel it feels good to phone, is to sit with some happy thoughts of him before phoning, and then if you get through, it sets a positive vibrational tone.
I've still got a lot to say! Just working up to another burst of info for you :-) Then you can print it all off and work on it over the holidays. I'm going to write more later today about how you can help him. It will be good :-)- Re: You are your own expert :-) #79252
17 y
3,028
This is a reply to # 1,067,796That makes perfect sense - if it feels good, do it, whatever it is. This is very helpful in making the right decisions in general :-)
- Re: You are your own expert :-) Invincible
17 y
2,940
This is a reply to # 1,067,835That is really what illness is. If you do something that feels bad, it contracts everything and eventually you get sick. If you do something that feels good, it relaxes everything and you are well.
- Re: You are your own expert :-) Invincible
17 y
2,940
- Books by experts #79252
17 y
2,960
This is a reply to # 1,067,796Believe me, I have read many books on relationships and men, and some I thought were fantastic - yet seems to me that LOA is the ONLY thing we need to succeed in relationships.
To succeed in life, period :-)
- Re: You are your own expert :-) #79252
17 y
3,028
- How you can help him Invincible
17 y
3,434
RR
This is a reply to # 1,067,757As you see your husband and you feel sad (because you are focusing on his and your past) you activate that in your own vibration. And from that place of sadness, you try to offer him love and support, the vibration you actually offer him is saying to him, “I’m doing all this for you because you can not help yourself.”
You’re focused on his lack of happiness and your vibrational offering then perpetuates his unhappiness.
This is how to refocus: Take time each day to imagine him in a better situation. See him well, smiling, happy, sucessful. When that becomes a dominant vibration that *you hold about him*, then you can offer whatever *inspired* action that feels good. This will attract a matching vibration of happiness and joy for him.
That is the best kind of helping.
What feels better?: Uplifting him by believing in his happiness and success or adding to his unhappiness by focusing on his past and current situation?
Your husband is free to create his own experiences. If he chooses thoughts and actions that bring him pain, he is only focusing on what he does not want.
You can’t think his thoughts for him but you can think your thoughts for you. And as you find more and more relief and feel better and better, you set the example of joy for him. You become the one who teaches by example. As you bring forward all this joyful emotion, you trigger his desire for joy too.
So, as you start focusing on a successful resolution, you would feel no sadness, but become a catalyst to inspire an actual solution for him.
*Allowing* means you maintain your own emotional balance no matter what he is doing or saying. When that happens and you hold him as your object of attention, he benefits greatly. The more you hold him in your attention while you feel good, the greater the power of your positive influence.
I think I’m done with this subject, and you have plenty to work with … but feel free to ask any questions!
Love
Maya X
- Re: How you can help him #79252
17 y
3,007
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"As you see your husband and you feel sad (because you are focusing on his and your past) you activate that in your own vibration. And from that place of sadness, you try to offer him love and support, the vibration you actually offer him is saying to him, “I’m doing all this for you because you can not help yourself.”
You’re focused on his lack of happiness and your vibrational offering then perpetuates his unhappiness."
You hit the nail right on the head - this is EXACTLY what I have been doing all this years!! Well, no more - from now I will see him happy, successfull, trusting, generous, etc.
You are amazing Invincible :-) BTW I love that name!
I will print this all out and re-read - thanks so much again!!! :-)
ooxx Happy Holidays
- One more important question #79252
17 y
2,968
This is a reply to # 1,067,833What if it feels good but I feel anxious/nervous at the same time? I felt like that when I called him Wed night and I do in regards to calling him again. What does that mean? Isn't that based on some sort of fear?
- Contradictory thoughts Invincible
17 y
3,020
This is a reply to # 1,067,839On one hand, it feels good, because you love him and are excited to speak with him ... Yet, on the other hand you have some fears about what will happen or not happen.
In your thinking, what's the worst that could happen?
- Re: Contradictory thoughts #79252
17 y
2,987
This is a reply to # 1,067,844Hm, I guess that he got my message and didn't call me because he won't want to see me and decided to move on - that would be the worst
- Re: Contradictory thoughts Invincible
17 y
2,925
This is a reply to # 1,067,848"I guess that he got my message and didn't call me because he won't want to see me and decided to move"
When you think that thought..
How do you feel?
What happens inside your body? Notice how it feels. Where does it hit you?
What internal speech is going on inside your head?
Does this bring stress or peace?- Re: Contradictory thoughts #79252
17 y
2,950
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I feel my stomach tighening up and it feels stressfull and negative.
You are good! Looks I have to work on my self talk some more.
The fact that I felt like that when I called the first time is probably why he didnt pick up (maybe) or call back :-)- Re: Contradictory thoughts Invincible
17 y
2,948
This is a reply to # 1,067,858"I feel my stomach tighening up and it feels stressfull and negative."
Can you see a reason to drop this thought?: "I guess that he got my message and didn't call me because he won't want to see me and decided to move on"
Is there a stress free reason to keep this belief?
You are only attaching to a thought and look how bad that feels and what it does to your body!
Close your eyes, imagine the same situation, you wanting to make this phone call and you could NOT think that thought: "I guess that he got my message and didn't call me because he won't want to see me and decided to move on"
Who would you be, sitting there without the abilty to think that thought? How would you live your life differently?
- Re: Contradictory thoughts #79252
17 y
2,996
This is a reply to # 1,067,862I would think:
He loves me. He is happy that I am calling him because I love him. He is probably waiting for me to call him right now.
I would feel good calling him anticipating his answering and seeing him again.- Re: Contradictory thoughts Invincible
17 y
2,899
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Yes ... without attachment to that stressful thought, you would be connected to your inner being. You would be at peace and loving every moment.
Thank you - that was such a beautiful answer, I have been truly honoured by our cocreative work today. You have been a joy!- Re: Contradictory thoughts #79252
17 y
3,059
This is a reply to # 1,067,870Thank you - how sweet of you to say. I agree that this post will help many poeple :-)
I will sit down and meditate for a little while and then call him tonight :-)
I will keep you posted :-)
- Re: Contradictory thoughts #79252
17 y
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- Re: Contradictory thoughts Invincible
17 y
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- Re: Contradictory thoughts #79252
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- Re: Contradictory thoughts Invincible
17 y
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- Re: Contradictory thoughts #79252
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- Re: Contradictory thoughts Invincible
17 y
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- Re: Contradictory thoughts #79252
17 y
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- Contradictory thoughts Invincible
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- One more important question #79252
17 y
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- Re: How you can help him
- You are your own expert :-) Invincible
17 y
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- Invincible #79252
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- Re: #79252 - Relationship LOA - Nega... Invincible
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