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Days 9-11: Demons, Fears, Airport Food & Me
The way I feel today is my body's way of telling me "See, this is what you were doing to me for so long. Don't do this again."
Date: 12/8/2006 8:59:17 AM ( 18 y ) ... viewed 2765 times First, let me begin this entry by stating that I feel awful. I have a fever, my body is aching, I have no desire to eat, my throat is swollen, the white on my tongue that disappeared is back, etc. etc.
I don't like to fly. If God wanted me in the air at 33,000 feet, he would've gave me wings. I love visiting new places, however, flying isn't natural. My fear of flying is related to not having control of the situation. While flying isn't the only time I am placed in this type of situation, it is the only one where the survival rate isn't high. Yet, I overeat to comfort myself . . . the irony. I believe that STRESS is 1 part of the reason as to why I feel awful.
Because I don't like to fly, I eat . . . alot. Pretty much until I get to the hotel room and back home, I am eating every chance I get. I didn't prepare my "healthy" snacks and meals. When I arrived at DCA, I had a pastrami on rye w/ mustard and chips. My god, the chips were salty. By the time I got to ATL, I started to feel the results of eating a typical SAD diet. I became extra irritable and hated people I didn't even know. While waiting for my connecting flight, I didn't eat anything. Why? I saw many overweight/obese people. It turned me off from eating anything. This lasted until we (fellow passengers) were informed that we are getting a new plane due to mechanial difficulties. I was sitting by the window, and I watched the maintenance men lift the engine hood . . . . . I became sick and bought some corn chips to settle my stomach.
My boss decided it was okay to order for everyone at Benihana's. I didn't argue. I ate some of the food & had some wine. When I got back to my hotel, I had to throw it up. My stomach couldn't digest it. It was the only way for me to get some sleep. Speaking of sleep, I slept for 3 hours. Prior to today, I was sleeping 8 hours, straight, and woke up w/o an alarm clock. I woke up at 3:30 am w/ an empty stomach and fearing my return flights home. I was actually glad I requested that oatmeal be delivered to my room (I knew I would need something to help settle my stomach).
Day 10, was worse than Day 9. I didn't eat the continental breakfast, I had lemon & water. I had some of the buffet lunch. I had popcorn at HOU, pretzels on the plane, a bacon cheeseburger (could only eat half) and fries at ATL, and a pretzels on the plane to DCA. I also experienced the worse brain fog ever. I didn't know where I was. I felt like the person I was before the trip wasn't there . . . . just my body. My brain is still foggy, so I apologize if this entry doesn't make sense. This is also when my cold symptoms began. My fear of flying was stronger thanks to the turbulence. My lord, did those planes rock.
So, I learned a valuable lesson . . . . purchase a small cooler to carry my fruit, Ezekiel Bread, coconut oil, and meals. When I'm traveling alone, I will more likely choose to eat at more healthier places. I know I will eat to comfort me. Prior to last year, I let that fear control me for 8 years. I didn't travel by plane. The fact that I'm flying is a big deal. I doubt I will deal with my comfort eating in 15 weeks. It only happens when I fly.
I don't forsee me flying any where in the next 13-14 weeks. I feel like the past two days have set me back. The way I feel is my body's way of telling me "see, this is what you were doing to me for so long. Don't do this again." I know my body will heal over the next few days and I will be back where I was before Wed.
I'm fasting today, not by choice. I don't want food at all. My body is full of mucus and other things. I wish I had my cayenne pepper with me to help with the mucus. If I feel better tomorrow, I will go get some. My body doesn't want food, it just wants to get rid of everything. So, I'm letting my digestion system rest. My body is acidic. I'm drinking lots of water, hot water with limes, herbal teas, swallowing garlic & a tsp or two of ACV every few hours. For some reason, the ACV makes me feel good.
Needless to say, I doubt I will do my runs for week 2 & I know I won't be eating much over the next 2-3 days. I will likely move to a juice fast tomorrow. So, week 2 will be repeated on Tuesday.
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