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This is scary.
... can't slide ...
Date: 11/22/2005 12:59:18 AM ( 19 y ) ... viewed 1854 times I don't want to spiral into some pattern of restricting and binging. That would be worse than the pattern of fairly regular eating with occasional overindulging. I don't want to just go to a bigger amplitude of that. I want smaller variations in good and bad days of eating. I want regular eating with sometimes a little indulging that I don't have to feel bad about. ::: sigh :::
Not looking forward to going back to my fiances house for Wednesday night, Friday, and Saturday, being around food. I can get out of eating Thanksgiving dinner, but the late nights when others are sleeping and knowing there is food around. On the other hand, if I make it through, which I must, it might make me feel stronger. I'll have to bring something to keep me busy... and go to bed early with everyone else. Stuart knows I'm fasting and I won't eat anything in front of him. I need a little project to keep me busy while I'm there...
I'm so tempted to say that I have to work and just stay here at home in bed.
I have to stick with this. I've been measuring myself against the smallest of my goal jeans (the Blue Cult's, they are soooo tiny... the Seven's in the same size are huge in comparison.) I can pull them to midway in my thigh, and it really makes the fat squish out over the sides, makes me realize that I do in fact still have quite a bit to lose.
::: sigh :::
I have to just stick with it.
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