Have not followed your post before, but since I am a truth barometer it is my position in life to tell you and any one else...  You need to come to some point in your life that you are satisfied with you being...   Now I do not want to diminish your accomplishments and desires....  But everyone sooner or later;  must come to the realization that perfection is not really possible in this life...   Refer to some of "Brain Boot Camp" and "Absolute Truth, Some Wisdom and Intercourse" blogs for some ideas on having a better balanced life...    If I can help let me know...  Thanks please have a satisfying and abundant life...  see ya.. K