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I'm back... 48 more days.
Counting down now. No more counting up.
Date: 11/14/2005 12:07:51 AM ( 19 y ) ... viewed 2046 times Initially, I was planning not to post for a while and not read the fasting boards because focusing on it wasn't really helping making the time go by. The way it ended though was that on the Friday morning I got lured into the Friday office breakfast and wanted to just have a lick of cream cheese, ended up having little pieces of bagles, ended up eating a bunch of junk on Friday. I even had my fiance not come over that night because I wanted to eat in peace and didn't want him to notice that I had broken my fast. Every weekend he says that "okay, it's enough, you can start eating now," but I don't want him to see me weak and flailing, or worse yet, failing... and unhappy.
So, my view is just going to be this: I was going to fast as well as I can. So, I screw up every once in a while... so far, it's been twice. Last time I restarted counting from the beginning. Not this time. I was half still trying to rationalize cheating today as well because I never had my very favorite food on Friday, but I'm afraid I won't be able to get back into the rhythm of fasting if I don't get right back with it and become one of the people always struggling to get past day 3.
I've wanted to be skinny again for so long. I'm fairly close to where I want to be. I can shimmy into the largest of my goal size jeans and, if I really wanted to, I could close them. I'm so close. I need to complete this properly, ease off the fast, and into low carb eating. I was freaked out enough as it was about whether I was going to be able to maintain my weight loss that way. I should probably add a week to the fast due to this crash, I haven't decided yet. Or, the other option is to just continue on and view it as "fasting until day X," doing as well as I can at that.
I'm also not quite decided yet whether I should weigh myself or whether that would be counterproductive. Not sure. Leaning towards counterproductive. Mainly I just need to regain my balance and my rhythm and not let this throw me off after a very long time of doing a great job and having accomplished a lot.
:::sigh::: I need to bring this to a good completion. I already have it all planned out how to eat afterwards, even though I'm not used to the whole concept of being thin and just maintaining the weight, wouldn't it be great if it could actually work???!!!
I say, fast until the end of the year from here. I should be in very good shape then. No need to add additional days. So now, just make the best of the remaining days to get the most out of them. I am doing fine on the fast and this crash should give me enough energy to cruise through to the end of the year. Get my body and my life in order, and how nice would it be to start the new year, not resolving to fix everything but just to maintain what i had worked hard to achieve in the last year.
So, for now, I'll be posting again to keep myself accountable. I need to pull through from here.
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